The Life and Times of MandaMcK

Moving On Out

2008-07-10T02:23:00.002-05:00

Some of you may have noticed the trend in writing recently...I'm turning into a foodie. With that in mind I decided it was time to take up writing about my creations and learnings in a more appropriate setting. Welcome This Little Piggy Went to Market. I am starting to phase out the online "diary" style writing and phase in the online "things I'm really into" style writing so if I get some inspiration in places other than food you'll find it here but otherwise this blogspace will be pretty sparse due to my exciting explorations in food that can be found in my new online writing place.
I hope you enjoy my food findings as much as I do!

Off the Wagon

2008-06-27T01:20:00.003-05:00

Sometimes you fall off the wagon HARD and sometimes you just tumble off lightly.
Tonight my sweet tooth was outta control and after eating probably 15 Hershey Kisses at work I was more than off my healthy eating wagon. (Sorry upcoming triahtlon, I just couldn't help myself).

It's late, I'm staying up for no particular reason watching Alfred Hitchcock movies and episodes of The Iron Chef and I'm still noshin for s'more sweet goodness. I held off the urge for a good while but I'm losing this battle.

So, I just ran into the kitchen and whipped up a little bit of spur the moment fly by the seat of yet pants goodness. Sometimes it's worth following the urges for the awesome creations that are bound to come from them!
So here it is, a McKenna original:

-Almost Apple Crisp-

Slice up 1 large Granny Smith Apple
Place in a medium frypan with 3 Tbs of butter
Add about 1 tsp fresh chopped ginger
About 4 Tbs sugar
About 1 Tbs flour
The juice of 1/4 of a lime
About 3 tsps cinnamon
About 1/4 tsp cumin

Let apples carmelize over medium heat for about 4 minutes or until the apples are softened

Spoon this over some Fage Total 0% Greek Yogurt and top with Grape Nuts and a little bit of honey.

Seriously, a great combo of healthy things made into a totally unhealthy but super delish sweet dish.
Enjoy!

Super Sweet Soup'n for the Summer'n

2008-06-25T10:51:00.004-05:00

So I'm on a roll, I know I know. Two posts in less than 24 hours, what are you going to do with me? Well, this morning I decided to make some more soup(yes, soup again, I can't help it, it's my new love).
Anywho, I made some exciting waves today. I think I have two Italian market boyfriends at Giordani's.
This means free/reduced rate produce. Who am I to hate on that? Plus, one of the guys introduced himself (I think his name is Roman, tough to understand with his strong accent)and I'm looking forward to coming back next week and hopefully getting a hello from him. Nothing like becoming a regular at your local market, makes the city feel so much more homey and close.
So the soup. Today it's butternut squash soup. There's definitely apple and Sauvignon Blanc in it too which is really exciting. I don't have a muddler or a food processor so making butternut squash puree in a blender was interesting. I used the end of a plastic spoon (should have used a wooden one) as a makeshift muddler and got it caught in the blades for a mere second and only once but it still led to a wild hunt for a few bits of black plastic in my squash puree. Ah, the learning curve.
So the soup isn't much to look at but it's currently simmering away in the ole crock pot and the combination of the sweetness from the apples and white wine mixed with the bite of fresh ginger root and buttery goodness of the squash makes for a rather intoxicating summer smell.
Today I used Bestest Best's larger crock and so there's enough to share. I know BestBud Down the Block wanted some so after I run some errands and go to the gym I'm going to pack some up to take to her at work. I'm pretty excited about it.
And now for a not so unheard of scene from my kitchen these days:

While looking at that bountiful rainbow of colors I would like to mention that on my travels today I plan on buying a bamboo cutting board. If you had any idea how excited I am about this you would probably poke fun but hey if you live near me know that you'll benefit because there will be more goodies coming your way!

Grass Anyone?

2008-06-25T00:32:00.006-05:00

LEMONGRASS YOU POTHEADS! Yeesh.

Today I explored the world of Thai food and went the distance. Not only do I now have fish sauce and chili paste in my cupboard but I also had my first experience with lemongrass.
Lemongrass is amazing. As I peeled away the first layers of tough skin I was blown away with the smell. I never understood why Lemonheads smelled the way they do, I mean I've never met a lemon that smells like a Lemonhead. Well, Lemonheads must have gotten their stink inspiration from lemongrass! It's incredible. So this stuff is super tough and you have to chop the dickens out of it before it's really edible. I really want a pestel and morter so the next time I don't have to chop it up but rather I can grind the crap out of it! Anywho, I only needed a tablespoon for my recipe so I froze the rest of my prepared grass for future food fun.
So the lemongrass was for a tangy thai marinade for salmon fillets. The marinade involved the slightly scary fish sauce along with the lemongrass, regular and dark soy sauce, honey, vinegar, chili paste and garlic. I let the salmon fillets chill in the fridge with the marinade for about 40 minutes and then I pan seared it for about 5 minutes (no joke, the stuff cooks like whoa over the burner).

I decided to make some rice pilaf to go along with the salmon and I figured I'd make use of some of the super ripe nectarines that I'd purchased at the market and throw those on top of everything along with fresh parsley.
I'm pretty happy with the results:

Chocolate isn't just for Lovers

2008-06-20T21:32:00.002-05:00

Monday I got out of the city. It was amazing. Five of us piled into a Philly Car Share car and drove out to Hershey, PA to explore the lands of HersheyPark. Roller coasters and chocolate, heck yes I was in heaven. The whole trip was in honor of my fellow Walnut Street Theatre worker, Angela. She turned 23 and brought in another year in style. Thanks to our theatre work schedule we were at the park on an off day which meant little or no lines for all the roller coasters and fewer children between the ages of 10 and 19. It was amazing. As much as I enjoyed getting on a roller coaster for the first time since going to CedarPoint in high school I think I almost enjoyed the country air and the car travel as much if not more. I really needed that country air, those fields of corn and even the smell of cows.
Here's a few highlights c/o Angela and her disposable camera:

A Calorie is a Calorie

2008-06-18T15:48:00.006-05:00

So last night I totally nerded out and took along with me to work my slow cooker cookbook as well as a "Just 100 Calories" cookbook that was added to the collection care of The Bestest Best. While at work I carefully planned out about 10 meals that we could enjoy over the next week that would be good for us and of course, yummy!
After pouring over my list of things to get at the market and grocery store I finally made up the complete list for todays adventures in foodiness.
Last night I was reading the latest post from my favorite triathlon man, Joe Friel and it was about losing weight prior to race day. It was very interesting and drove home the title of this post. I highly suggest reading it, it was an eye-opener for me and is generally just an interesting story.
Anywho, it got me thinking about calorie intake and how that could effect the way I do or do not lose weight in the coming weeks (did you know that losing 1 lb. takes approximately 10 seconds off of a running time?! HOLY CRAP!).
With calories in mind I decided to try one of the amazingly tasty sounding salads that the "Just 100 Calories" book lent to my liking. It's a combo of fruit (I used cantulope, red grapes and raspberries), veggies (red onions and a spring garden greens mix) and cottage cheese (1% milkfat). The cottage cheese has fresh basil, chives and parsley chopped up and mixed in and the fruits/veggies have an awesome dressing of soy sauce, honey, fresh squeezed lime juice and chiles for a little bite. All that yum for a mere 200 calories yo!

In addition to this salad goodness I'm in the process of making my first puree soup. This is it in it's pre-puree state in my crock pot.

It's a curried broccoli cream soup. It's packed with veggie goodness including leeks, onion, carrots, potatoes and of course, broccoli. I like this curry version, I think it will make for a nice descent from the usual Campbells super creamy milky version. Wish me luck on the whole "then transfer batches of the soup into your blender and blend so that it's just a little chunky." I feel like that could get messy/interesting!

Sportster

2008-06-17T23:02:00.002-05:00

As most of you know, I'm a terrible hipster, so terrible in fact, that I not only watch and play sports, but I actually ENJOY them, it's true!
Today was a big day for me. As much as I tried to act like it wasn't, it certainly ended up being exciting enough that I had little knots in my tummy. I got a call yesterday from Bicycle Therapy letting me know that my bike was fixed. As a general recap, last summer my bike and I had some tough tumbles, tough enough to break me twice with the second tumble also breaking my bike.
A year later and nice new (and expensive) fork replacement later my bike is back on the road and so am I. As I walked west on South Street I felt confident in getting back on the proverbial horse and yet when my feet hit 20th Street, leaving me a mere 2 blocks from my destination (the bike shop) I felt my stomach knot up. Thankfully for me, no one that I know who works at the shop was in at the time of pick up so I didn't have to rehash my past bike woes and I was able to take my bike by the handlebars, direct her out onto the sidewalk and have a good heart to heart with her (yes, I was talking to my bike) before donning my helmet (ALWAYS WEAR A HELMET KIDS) and hopping on for the first time.
As my foot hit the pedal and turned it until it fit comfortably in the clip and my hands gripped the handlebars I could feel the fever coming back. There's nothing like being on a bike that fits you correctly. The pavement moved under me, my thumping heart slowed to a normal pace and I confidently rode from the shop to the gym and took out my U-Lock for the first time in a year to lock her up but not without smiling to myself.
I did it. I'm back on the bike and I'm refusing to make a huge deal of it except to say, I rode to work as well and the ride is so much less stressful than the ride I used to have from West Philadelphia to Center City every day.
Did I mention, just 25 days until my triathlon?!

I Dream of Owning this House

2008-06-15T10:59:00.001-05:00

The AWESOMEST APARTMENT IN THE UNIVERSE!

A Celebration of Beautiful Bones

2008-06-08T19:10:00.003-05:00

Well folks, the votes are in and the verdict is this, my wrist is looking great. I am still experiencing pain but he says that should be getting better over the course of the next few months. The celebration is official today. Here's my victory dance:

That's right, I am doing the Philadelphia Women's Triathlon again. I've been working out consistently for about two months but I haven't been doing tri-specific work so it's going to be a tough 5 weeks but I'm ready for it. It felt amazing doing a brick the other day and my core is definitely stronger this year which will make a huge difference in my endurance ability.
It's been a long, tough road but hitting that button to submit my registration felt amazing. I also love being able to tell people I'm doing it. There's something incredibly empowering about being able to say I'm doing it again and having people be inspired by that.
So here we go team. July 13th please come out and support your now-not-broken-but-now-bionic friend! I'll be racing, hopping into someone's car and heading to the theatre to work but during that time between the start and finish any and all voices will be greatly appreciated.

Summer Sammies

2008-06-06T14:25:00.006-05:00

I love the way your body adjusts in the summer. Hot and heavy pastas and potato rich casseroles quickly seem too burdensome for the weather and give way to urges for chilled soups, salads and fresh sandwiches.
Today after my first brick workout my body was feeling ready for a fresh but still stick to yer bones good meal. Like I've mentioned before, I really have started to explore the world of spices and sweet/salt combinations. I had great intentions to make a hominy and zucchini chili (I'm apparently on a zucc roll right now) today but after a) waking up much later than ever expected and b) heading to the gym without my wallet I decided the chili could hold off until Sunday or Monday. So I got home and scoured my fridge (I'm keeping up with my weekly/bi-weekly trips to the Italian Market) for something to eat. I settled on something I stumbled upon a few weeks ago, a toasted turkey, ham and raspberry jam sandwich. So the jam isn't exactly the healthiest but hey, it's not the worst thing I could put into my body either. Today I made it on hoagie bread thanks to the $1, I repeat $1 bag of day old hoagie bread (about 2 lbs I'm guessing) that I got at the market this week. I got it to make homemade croutons for that zucchini soup and also to share with my new housemate the Bestest Best! Anywho, I wanted some fresh veggies as well and since I still had corn from that corn risotto I decided I'd steam some corn. Steaming the corn quickly sounded like to hot of a choice on an 80 degree day and so I decided to cut it off the cob and eat it raw.
Eating corn raw is something a lot of people don't think to do. I never had until I worked on a farm and had co-workers who would grab ears off the stalk and open 'em up only to eat them right there in the field. Sweet corn is especially delicious chilly and raw! So I cut it off the cob and went to my spice cabinet and let my instincts guide me. A dash of cumin, sprinkle of cinnamon, drizzle of honey, splash of vinegar and drop of olive oil later and I found one of my new favorite veggie side dishes. I'm not sure what to call it but for now I'll just stick with DELICIOUS!

Leftover Smeftover

2008-05-30T13:30:00.004-05:00

One of my favorite challenges after making something with a lot of new ingredients is to use whatever leftover ingredients I have and incorporate them into food stuffs I normally have in my kitchen. Today I decided after a jaunt to the gym and a nice stretch and nap in the park that I needed something fresh but with substance to build me up after my workout.
Since I've been frequenting the Italian Market as well as the realms of my crock pot I have built up my spice rack and filled the produce drawers in my fridge. Speaking of fridges, I saw a fridge door on the side of the road last night on my walk home after work and I desperately wanted it but sadly knew I couldn't carry it alone for the 5 blocks ahead. Dang, what a rad "shelf". Anywho---so today's adventure led to a twist on my usual tunafish sandwich.
I used leftover shallots and grape tomotoes from my last crock pot adventure as well as some dill from a previous soup creation. I mixed these along with some Albacore canned tuna, about 4 tablespoons of mustard, 2 teaspoons of Miracle Whip and some Adobo (the catchall spice when in doubt). I put this over toasted cracked wheat bread and Romaine lettuce.
Let me tell you, I really won on this one! I also cut up some Granny Smith Apple wedges to top off my salt/sweet balance and Tah-Dah!
This is just one more reminder of how awesome it is to start exploring new ingredients while not forgetting about our favorite mainstays (like canned tuna for instance!). I would also like to add that my adjustment to eating more balanced has been a source of inspiration in the kitchen. I no longer eat because I know I should. I eat because I want to and because flavor exploration is becoming a really exciting endeavor. Spice up your life kids. It's totally worth it. (I have a ton of leftover fresh basil...the ideas are already "cooking" in my head!)

The Life and Times of a Crock Pot Junkie

2008-05-28T13:50:00.009-05:00

So the story starts about a year ago in West Philly when my best friend received a crock pot for Christmas that she then brought with her when she moved to our W. Philly apartment. Together we experimented with it and made delicious spaghetti sauce (my mother's famous recipe), incredible Indian delights and various things in between. The love of the crock lasted for about two months and then as we tend to do, we lost interest in spending money on good food and spent too many nights after work bellied up to our favorite bar, The Good Dog.
Fast forward to a year later when the best buddy and I are no longer living together but are still the bestest of best. It's January 10th and I'm turning the big two four and she keeps talking about how she has the best gift ever for me but that I'm going to crack up when I open it. I open it hesitantly and then proceed to, just as she said I would, crack up. It's a crock pot cook book for cooking in a small crock. "The crock pot is at my house" she says, "cuz I didn't want to drag it to Tattooed Mom's for you to open." She got me this amazing cook book:

..as well as a lovely 1.5 qt.crock:

Now that I live in South Philly and the Italian Market is mere blocks away I've started to really explore my crock. In the last few months I've made everything from hot dips to soups and marinated meats. A couple of stand outs were a zucchini soup (a recipe allegedly from a 1950's magazine that was cited as being Katherine Hepburn's favorite---lady's got good taste!) made with curry and cayenne pepper (I added corn to make it a little more robust, it was a good choice!) and a Moroccan spiced chicken over whole wheat couscous. I recently made the latter for my co-workers and anyone who works at the Walnut Street Theatre knows my boss is a picky eater who isn't much for exploring new foods. She loved it so much she was trying to steal bits off of my apprentices' plates!
Today I'm moving onto a bit of a summer plate. I'm making fresh corn risotto in the crock and to go along with it I'm making some "fly by the seat of my pants" citrus chili chicken. I only have one crock so I'm going to marinade and simmer the chicken over a slow flame in a pan but if I had two crocks I can guarantee you that the chicken would be marinading crock-style as well!
Today's ingredients:

Fresh basil, lemons, limes and corn from the market as well as some plum tomatoes. The colors are enough to put a smile on my face!
Check out the marinading chicken too:

and in the pan:

This one I made up as I went: Mild cayenne pepper from the Spice Shop in the market, Adobo, a clove of fresh garlic, one lemon peeled and squeezed, one lime sliced, one lime juiced, 1/3 can of Goya Passion Fruit cocktail and pepper. We'll see how it goes!

Here's the finished products:

The chicken has some good bite and turned out quite tender. This semi-Caribbean style chicken goes awesome with the Italian corn risotto dish thanks to the lightness of the corn in the risotto meshing well with the lime and lemon in the chicken. I'm not sure what sparked my idea to make a lime flavored chicken with a corn risotto but I give it a thumbs up---of course, I'm the chef here so my opinion may be biased. I did, however, make up a plate for the bestest best as she is moving into my place tonight. With that in mind, watch out Philadelphia the Michigan gals are back together and about to cause some serious trouble!

A Two-Sided Argument of Loneliness

2008-05-22T12:20:00.004-05:00

I'm stuck on a feeling recently. The feeling of being left alone. I'm working it out through song and it's becoming a bit of an obsession. I've written two new songs in the last two weeks and both are centered around leaving someone alone or being left alone.
I've condemned myself to a bubble lately. It's not bad so to speak but on the same token it's working against any effort to abort this sense of loneliness. I find myself in social situations and trying to branch out and to meet new people in an effort to attempt this world known as dating and making new friends. And yet, as soon as I start to do this my feelings of loneliness make me feel ill equipped for the job and I skulk back into my comfort zone and sit with people who are my good friends. Or I simply barricade myself in my room with my guitar.
It's a strange back and forth. It's as though I am fighting with myself all of the time. The issue is, I never win. (ha ha). So where do I go from here? I'm not sure.
Last night was opening night of Les Mis. I tried to talk to some new people. It started to be a lot of work for me as more drinks entered my body and I quickly ran back to my comfort zone, my closest friends. Ah well, what can I do? I guess at this point, just roll with what feels right and let the new faces find me.

Seperation of Church and State

2008-05-15T23:54:00.003-05:00

What about seperation of work and play? I'm starting to get weirded out by people asking where I was after work or on days off like I've done something wrong by going out and about. I was asked by my boss today if I had gone to the bar the night before. I had in fact gone home after work and fallen asleep quite quickly due to exhaustion. I was then asked if I'd gone out the night before last. Instead of asking why I was being grilled I just said yes that I'd gone out for a few beers with some friends. Truth be told though, I'm annoyed at myself for answering. What I do in my time outside of work is really my business. But since I'm really a rather boring story I might as well just lay it out even though it's boring:

Sometimes I go out to a bar and drink beer with my friends. Sometimes I sit in my room and play my guitar for hours. Sometimes I sit in my room with my friends and drink beer and play my guitar for hours. Sometimes I clean my room, sometimes I do puzzles, sometimes I lay in the park sleeping and soaking up the sunshine, most days I go to the gym and sweat like crazy, some days I read and write and sing along to music too loudly.

I told you it was boring. Really...Who cares? I have nothing to hide. I'm really a rather humdrum kinda gal.

Prayer of Saint Francis

2008-05-14T23:28:00.003-05:00

"Lord, make me an instrument of Thy peace;
where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master,
grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood, as to understand;
to be loved, as to love;
for it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life."
Amen.

These are words to live by when you find yourself surrounded by angry people asking things of you that you cannot give them because you have no control over the outcome of the things they are asking you to give. Tonight was a night to remember.
House management has taught me the importance of patience as well as the necessity of allowing things to hit you and roll off.
As I stood at the entrance of the lobby with a basket of hearing devices during intermission a growing group of angry people surrounded me complaining about the sound. After calmly explaining why there were inconsistances in the sound (it's preview week, the production staff is still working out kinks) and then continuing on to let them know it was a work in progress (did I mention preview week tickets are cheaper because the show gets fine-tuned during this week?!) and not something I personally could control (since when am I a sound guy?) I found myself surrounded by an angry mob (thank goodness we don't allow people to bring pitchforks or torches into the theatre). I then went on to calmly explain who they could contact to complain (I'm in house management yo, I can't do shit about the sound!) but sadly they were out for blood. In their minds because I was in charge of the hearing aids I must have some control over the sound. It was quite frustrating to repeat myself over and over only to be able to say "I'm sorry" because I could not change anything for them. Multiple people really tore into me tonight. One man went so far as to find me later just before Act II began and yell at me again and again at the end of the night when he asked for my name so he could call the head man and complain.
Thankfully there are beautiful, understanding people in the world as well. I had one gentleman come up to me after the performance and talk to me. He had been trying to get a hearing device in the midst of the shitstorm and I had desperately tried to explain to him the way the headsets work over the screaming voices of the other disgruntled patrons. He commended me for keeping calm and being patient. He even told me I deserved a "gold star". Thank you sir. You are the reason I get through the days...well you and those two handfuls of peanut M&M's I just devoured. But really, I do still love my job, even when people treat me like a punching bag.

What I've Eaten Today...

2008-04-26T20:44:00.003-05:00

...because it's totally disgusting and I feel like throwing up now.

2 pieces of pizza
1 bowl of cereal
1/2 grapefruit
1 small tea cookie
1 handful Hershey kisses
1 cup Dunkin Donut coffee
3 doughnuts (no, I'm not even kidding)
1 bagel, cheese and egg sandwich
1 Drumstick ice cream cone

If this doesn't spell out the words "First Day of My Period" I don't know what does.

Cue my stomach exploding all those inches off my hips/thighs that I've lost in the last 2 months coming back in a day.
Gross.

I've Been on a Beatles Kick

2008-04-24T22:23:00.002-05:00

...and this just made it better, better, better, AHHHHHH:

Nothing Left to Lose

2008-04-14T23:12:00.004-05:00

"Oh I am a lonley painter. I live in a box of paints. I'm frightened by the devil and I'm drawn to those ones who ain't afraid."
Sing it to me Joni. There's something so strangely childlike and yet motherly in the tone of Joni Mitchell's voice and verse.

It's been a week. I thought I'd recovered from a stressful week (as in 2 weeks ago) but realized quickly I had not. Things have been rough. I've been a whipping boy for things out of my control within my working environment and when you log 6 days a week with 3 days being 12 hr days, that makes for a difficult work life.
Beyond work I've been the winner of a personal raincloud. Wednesday night we celebrated the birthday of my lovely co-worker and somewhere on my walk home from Cantina my license and debit card fell out of my pocket. I immediately called the restaurant and then retraced my steps that same night. I found my gloves (they too had fallen out of my pocket) but no cards. I've been dealing with getting my driver's license so I can fly to Michigan in two weeks. Tomorrow I'll be at the DMV on Columbus between Dickinson and Morris if anyone wants to hang out with me!
Friday my phone died unexpectedly. After going through the silliness of adding Beth to my account (since I didn't have ID to show I had to add someone authorized to my account who DID have identification) and after getting a new phone my old phone randomly started working again fine. I think I'm going to take the new one back and hopefully when my phone dies for good I can get a nice phone unlike the POS I'd orginally gotten since I'm poor right now.
Somewhere in the midst of this I received a not so exciting and entirely unexpected bill from my dentist for work I had done after my bike accident (it's going to be a year June 15th, I hate medical BS) and Saturday morning my cat peed on the dress I had laid out for work.
I'm strangely not losing my mind completely though I did spend 30 minutes on the phone with my mom today talking through everything. She always makes me feel better and can make me smile no matter the situation. She sent my birth certificate to me so I could get my license and wrote a note that started out "I think you went a little overboard by losing your license just so I would write you a letter."
I can't wait to see my family in two weeks.
One nice surprise was the great haircut Jay gave me in the girls' kitchen the other night. I think he cut my hair with fabric scissors but that just makes it all the more funny and fitting I suppose.

Today Dalice and I sat in the park. I can't wait to live all day in Jefferson Square Park this summer. I can't I can't I can't. (I'm starting to live in the park this Friday when it's supposed to be 79 degrees!)

Medicine Means Money

2008-04-02T15:23:00.005-05:00

I'm growing and learning and sadly becoming responsible...almost. Today I managed to purchase my opening night dress for Les Mis from the Curiosity Shoppe, in spite of not having any money/needing to use that money for medical things. You see The Curiosity Shoppe a thrift shop and I was in love and so I couldn't NOT get it?! I played the "my rent check hasn't gotten to my landlord and I get paid tomorrow" game. That's a dangerous game to play but it's almost 5pm and the banks are closing and my rent check won't get to my landlord in Florida for at least another day so I'm fine. Gosh I sound like I'm still in college.
Today I went to the physical therapist for the last time. My muscles surrounding my knees have gotten exponentially stronger and my doc said I was looking good. Before saying my final goodbyes to my PT's I learned how to tape my kneecap in place, crazy. I was going to buy tape from them but they wanted $15 for the undertape and $15 for the medical tape (Leuko Tape). In all of my years of sports I have never paid more than $6 for a good roll of medical tape so I said "naw way yo" and plan on doing some online research and getting a deal (or possibly taking advantage of Aunt Suz's affiliated w/ a hospital.). I also have to get this stuff called "Cosamin", it's a glucose suppliment that is going to help maintain the cartilidge levels in my bod (mostly needed for under my kneecaps). I went to Walgreens and found it, $32 for a bottle of 72 pills. Whatev's yo. I'm going online and finding a Canadian friend to buy me drugs, yeesh!
Medicine is expensive.

Fresh Air

2008-03-17T20:09:00.002-05:00

I need some. I find myself sighing loudly and uncotrollably. I don't even realize I'm doing it until a co-worker, housemate or friend looks at me with the "what's wrong" face.
I have 4 friends from out of town coming in over the next 7 days. I have to split my time this weekend so as to make sure I can be available as much as possible with Miss Ali Kay and my Chicago gals Trish and Jamie since flights/trains are expensive and through crazy scheduling the 3 of them will be here during the same period of time. Justin will arrive day after tomorrrow and stay overnight for a short stint in the City of Brotherly love but it will be nice to see him since I was still living in Kalamazoo the last time I say him.
Fresh air.
Come find me. The asthma is settling in my lungs and in my bones. This room is where I am. This room is where I stay. Pull me out into the sunshine and into the AIR. BREATHE!

AKA NE Regional Stepshow

2008-03-08T10:30:00.009-05:00

Damn. Those. Ladies. And. Gents. Can. Move.

Lets talk about my experience last night. I was invited to attend the AKA (That's Alpha Kappa Alpha) Northeast Regional Stepshow at the Philadelphia Marriott. My hostesses with the mostesses were Nicole (my apprentice) and her mother. Rounding out the crew was Nicole's good friend Percy. It was crazy. I have never been in a room with so many beautiful, charasimatic women (there were gents there too but this was a conference for a national African American sorority so you can guess the ridiculous male to female ratio).
Speaking of ratios...In a room of 3000 (and not counting the soundguy) I was the only white person. It was pretty awesome and hilarious. When Percy got seperated from us, we weren't worried...he just had to look for the white girl to know where we were sitting.
So lets talk specifics. AKA's are serious workers. They are dedicated to their sisters and to their sorority in ways I never could have imagined. There were women there in their 60's and 70's all the way down to girls in their sophomore year of college but they all had charisma and were proud to be members of this family. I felt honored to see such comradery among women spanning such a distance of time and location.
Moving on to the stepshow. Holy crap. Arms and legs, jumps, clapping, flips and canes. Truly brilliant. Thanks to Nicole for some great photos from the night:

My gracious hostesses

"Am I the only white girl here?!"

They called this "TLC: Tables, Ladders and Chairs"---they also won the frat competition, I mean c'mon, they were steppin on tables lifted in the air!

Third place: These girls can step with blindfolds on

The AKA Winners: They brought it...HARD.

Some frats came and showed me how the fellas use canes

The crew: "White girl, Percy-I-<3-My-Phone and Nicole (I never stop playin) Armbrister

Look closely folks, these guys gave us a living version of "Evolution"

This is Where it Gets Tricky

2008-03-06T20:58:00.003-05:00

I had a conversation a few weeks ago with a good friend about chemical imbalances and the need/lack of need for medication. We talked about awareness and the ability to understand an emotion or feeling and then take a plan of action whether good or bad to correct it or to work through it or to merely expereience it.
Some days it's easier for me to ignore than to do any of the above. But then there are the days where I understand the mood and the disposition and go with it for good or for bad and ride it out. The waves can be creative overloads or they can be crashing downs but somewhere along the way I just remember that it's all ME.
I don't want to be numb. I'll take my hurricanes along with my sweet summer breezes. In my attempt to keep on an even keel I've grown a bit numb on my own terms (without the help of all the medications Phizer may want to shove down my throat). I'm trying to experience extreme emotion. I'm scared of it. It allows others to see my vulnerable spots. I don't know how I feel about that but it's got to be better than ALWAYS living in the mediocre middle.
Silliness.
Sadness.
Love.
Pain.
Sometimes it takes a moment to realize you've been on the bench, eagerly awaiting your chance to play in the game.

Train of Thought

2008-02-27T11:12:00.004-05:00

Elliott just doesn't take my work seriously.

Yesterday I lent myself to some train of thought writing. It's always interesting when I allow myself to fall into that place somewhere between being totally aware and entirely gone. Allowing my pen (or rather computer keys) to document the trip is even more interesting.
I sometimes look back and can't believe some of the things I've written because I was only somewhat aware that the ideas had passed through my stream of consciousness.
I'm continuing to make myself set aside time each week to explore things of the creative nature. Yesterday I did what might be called stream of consciousness drawing and discovered a subject that I am currently obsessed with (and rightfully so) is hands and wrists.
Monday I found out that the ultrasound machine that I'm using on my wrist is starting to help my bone to heal but that I'm still dealing with a section of bone that isn't repaired. I'm going to use it for another 8 weeks and at the end of that time if I am not healed I am officially a candidate for a bone graf. That does not sound like something I want to have happen in my life!
So I just kept coming back to wrists, hands and arms. I especially love the way large, strong hands look. I have an idea brewing for the aforementioned art show I'd like to do. I want to start constructing something with one of the desk drawers I found. I want to make this idea a reality.
Speaking of reality, I watched "Reality Bites" yesterday. What a grand escape into the 1990's. The Big Gulp never had it so good.

Underneath it All

2008-02-22T20:30:00.003-05:00

It's been an interesting few weeks. I've allowed my usual guard down and done my best to take everything as it came rushing or trickling toward me. I have a bad habit of assuming the worst in people and closing myself off. The problem is that 9 times out of 10 my first instinct is correct. This time I was hoping to be proven wrong and if you would have spoken to me a few days ago I would have said it was finally happening...but today I'm not so sure.
You see, this morning I began to clean my cluttered room and as I peeled away the layers I began to draw paralells to my life. Underneath some piles of clothing I found amazing discoveries--shirts I'd been in search of for weeks, a favorite pen, a misplaced journal, a plethora of guitar pics. In other parts of my room I found unwanted tidbits--a depressing bill, a dirty dish, a broken trinket, a bent photograph. I suppose that's the gamble you take as you clean a place that has been allowed to fall into a state of chaos. You never know what you are going to find, despite being familiar with it for an extended period of time. You never know what might filter through to the surface.
Some of it is ugly. Some of it is brilliant.
In the case of my room, I've rediscovered a space that makes me feel at ease. I've straightened out things that haven't felt right since moving in and have made my room into a place that I can be relaxed in as well as productive.
People aren't quite as simple. Even though I was beginning to see the glimmer of something sweet underneath, I am starting to wonder if I had my hopes set on fools gold. I'm trying not to close up and walk away but sometimes it's important to know the difference between a "fixer-upper" and a room that should be condemned.

Daddy's Girl

2008-02-19T12:48:00.003-05:00

I am, I can't even deny it. I'm his first girl after four boys and his only child to follow an artistic way of life with my head lifted high in spite of all the hubbub from extended family asking about corporate careers. I have faithfully pursued and loved music, just like him and despite growing up in a small town feel at ease in the city. He always said he was a city boy.
Sunday night I flew out of Philadelphia and landed in Lansing, Mi around midnight and at 7am this morning I flew back to Philadelphia---but it was worth it. I saw my brother Jim, his wife Julie and their little boy Jack. I saw my Aunt Suz, my mom, my cousins Samantha and Annie, my brothers Greg and Scott. Most importantly I saw my father, who is doing well after his surgery. He's holding his head high and unlike a few months ago when he could barely speak about his procedure, he is now saying with a smirk "I gave up my prostate for lent." This is why I love my poppa, he's subtle and sweet and in spite of having 7 small incisions in his middle, still the king of the snuggle----

A Mother's Sadness...

2008-02-14T16:29:00.000-05:00

Stories like this inspire me to write for a publication again.

Contained AIR

2008-02-10T01:56:00.000-05:00

She'd forgotten. She wasn't sure anymore. "I am a writer?" "I am a writer." "I AM a writer!"
Her lips parted and her chin lifted slightly, to the left as she despised the open wall to the right. In her head there was a bubble and then 12 and they'd all appeared so suddenly and yet not. They had found a home within a parking lot on South Street on that lonely Tuesday night. Where had they come from she'd wondered as she shuffled her heels across the gaps in the sidewalk, picking up bits of slippery gum wads and discarded cigarettes and Starbucks cups.
The thing was, the bubbles were real. She'd stood silently for a good 3 and 3/4 minutes staring at them as they drifted through the air. Bubbles from heaven she'd thought, but then laughed, "too easy" she'd thought to herself. "Too simple 'make me feel like there's a higher meaning-ey'".
She'd forgotten about the bubbles for a good two weeks or so before they had crept back into her train of thought.
Bubbles man. What can you make of that? Somewhere between "one more for the night" and insanity is art, is brilliance, is sunsets stretching legs between tickling fingertips and swingsets.
From here until tomorrow she decided she'd just grow her bones, set her heart to the tempo of grinding teeth and ponder a time when what mattered wasn't where the bubbles came from but rather that they were there to keep her company at all. She needed those bubbles now, too bad they'd decided to show up weeks ago.

In Honor of Valentines Day

2008-02-08T20:50:00.001-05:00

...I would like to provide you with a photo of me and my boyfriend...

Here you can see us entering the scene of a recent hangout night with friends. L to R (Me, a handle of Evan Williams)

Maybe He Posts the Phone Numbers Up on His Closet Door

2008-01-31T23:31:00.000-05:00

Not really, but I do love me some anti-valentines day cards c/o my favorite Jason Sho Green.
So I wasn't sure as to what I should do with myself this eve. I pondered the idea of playing one of those point and click games they suggest in the banners above your MySpace page---I found the one that involved figuring out if Brittany Spears was mentally stable especially endearing---but decided that rather than subject my little Toshiba Satellite to such possible virus issues I'd figure something else out.
Last night I began Disk one of a 4-disk Alfred Hitchcock dvd set my father got me for my birthday. Maybe I should keep on that. Or maybe I should clean my room. I really need to do some laundry so I have some options for the upcoming weekend of fun I have planned. Or better yet, maybe I should find something to make in my crock pot tomorrow. I also need to go grocery shopping to get wings for the Chinese New Year (it's THURSDAY ya'll).
Nah, I think I'll settle into my pjs and go set up residence on ADEN's couch for a bit. All the girls at work today were talking about boyfriends, and possible boyfriends and crushes and gush gush gush. My most recent run-in with a boy only led me to feel even less certain of my confidence in such realms and led me even deeper into my current stereotypical single and grinding my teeth smiling like I don't give a crap fascade. The truth is, I don't know that a relationship is anything I'm interested in right now but who ever said a little flirting and dating wasn't a good time? Bah.
Now, to go settle onto that couch and be cranky for a moment and then zombify into some quality cable tv.

Looking at Me One on One

2008-01-30T01:23:00.000-05:00

My face.
My face.
Why can't I draw my face?
Because it's too close, too objectified, simplified, twisted up into something we hope it could be-afied.
When you look in the mirror you don't see the physical you but rather the you in which you envision and hope or maybe despise and cut down, it's the you that you've managed to build brick by brick in your little skull between the I wish I could be's and I hope I'm nots and gosh I don't want to look like my Great Aunt Berthas. But through all the gunk, all the magazine model comparisons and Revlon blush blusterings there's a face made of skin and dirt and spit and tears, of hair and teeth of eyes and snot, bones and muscles, oil and nerves. It is this face I tried to find tonight and with a fair amount of difficulty I began to discover bits and pieces. I took those pieces and made them known on sheets of paper with broken stems of charcoal. But I only found bits. I hate my jawline and so I never found it tonight. (Or rather my lackthereof). I love my eyes and so they made themselves known but not easily as I believe it's the eyes that are the toughest to duplicate on the page, how do you take the life they shine and share and place it in a two dimensional realm without stamping out the important glints and glants? The most bizarre moment was when I took a photo of one of the self-portraits I sketched tonight and saw my mother in those eyes. That's when I knew I'd managed okay because I looked beyond my preconceived notions and drew what was in front of me. I knew it because I never think I look like my mother and so to see that in the photo was an interesting moment.
I found an old canvas on the side of the street with a very drab and very faded still life painted on it a few weeks ago. I took it home with the plan to paint over it in some fashion. I've now decided that I want to keep the still life as a part of a new composition. I want to insert my head laying on the table with the previously painted fruits and vases. This is why I'm doing some self-portrait study. It really makes me want to take a figure drawing class too.
So I've been finding other things to paint on over the past few weeks as well. Trash day is my favorite day of the week. Everything that I've found (everything from that old canvas to dresser drawers to discarded frames and bits of furniture) has come from South 4th Street. If I can get myself together I'd like to pitch a show to the Red Hook Cafe on South Fourth, simply titled "Found it On Fourth." I love the idea of it being at a local coffee shop and the found items coming from the area the shop is in. The only other art show I did was at a local coffee shop and for that I am forever grateful and proud and if I ever show again I'd like to keep it in that arena.
So here's a bit of me. It's far from good but that's going to take some work. I have to see myself someday.

If You See My Confidence

2008-01-29T01:21:00.000-05:00

Please tell it that I miss it and would love for it to come back to me.
I've taken a couple of good hits over the last few months, some brought on myself and others from outside sources. Today as I was walking home from a late movie I had a moment of total and complete clarity: I have no self-worth right now. Hard to say when it started to trickle away and hard to guess when I'll build it back up but currently I'm having a tough time with putting any stock in me. It's a weird thing to admit to yourself and it feels a bit teenage emo kid but sometimes you just have to take notice of the way you are feeling so that you can change things.
Last night I was feeling so unconfident that I refused to approach a group of fellas that a friend had been speaking with, and all because I did not believe they would have any interest in chatting with me.
Like I said, I don't know when the switch clicked but it did and so now I am in the process of getting my confidence back because it's a lonely world without it.

In other news I changed my hair again:

Tough Night of Training

2008-01-24T15:25:00.000-05:00

I think it was somewhere between beer number one and beer number two that the night started to get blurry. You see, I work in an atmosphere where I have coworkers who are enablers (I don't deny that I'm one as well). So the bar manager never expects me to have drink tickets and instead without even asking pours tall drinks of scotch and bourbon for me. So now that things are in perspective, because beer number one and number two only came after scotch number one and bourbons one and two...all of which were somewhere between a triple and quadruple pour, you can understand how it started to blur.

So like I was saying between beers at Coco's the night started to get fuzzy. I know that my mind really knew I shouldn't make out with anyone at said event because they were my coworkers but my body certainly had other ideas (my mind won out for the record). My mind DID NOT win out in the "should I have another beer" category though and for that I looked like this this morning:

At some point in the evening (like the point when I was getting ready to go home) I realized I did not have my house keys. I proceeded to have a category A drunken freak out which lead one friend to believe I was totally psychotic. Thankfully he drove me home anyway since another friend so kindly said she'd house me for the night. I did get somewhat smart and call my housemate who's as big of a drunk as I am and thankfully he too was on his way home from the bar and so I was able to go home and do normal person things today like shower before going to work.

When I finally arrived at home I found my keys sitting on the chair where I had all my things to take with me for opening night. I guess I forgot them, nice work. Go team.

So I trained hard for Sara's birthday last night, just for the record, and managed to leave the bar in one piece and without making out with the one or two apprentices and otherwise that I had thought to myself "my my, I want to make out, you'll do."

So in that respect Amanda won the battle but I fear that Jack Daniels may have won the war.

Out of my Gourd

2008-01-20T01:04:00.000-05:00

I go crazy sometimes. A lot of people don't know this about me but I get a little psycho, have urges to drive for hours alone and escape into nothingness. Since I don't have a car I couldn't drive to the shore like I'd wished. Instead I wandered the streets of Philadelphia alone for an entire day. I ate a solo lunch at a sushi bar, putzed along South Street like a tourist and then stood on the South Street bridge that spans the gap of the highway and got lost in the buzz of traffic for a good 20 minutes.
It's hard to explain the piece of mind I found in the buzzing of those little piles of rubber and metal but it felt comfortable to be there, suspended above the trails of trucks and caravans and minivans. I walked along the Delaware for a bit and then stumbled upon two different veteran memorial parks that I didn't even know existed. I then read for a while about Picasso and eventually saw "No Country for Old Men."
I didn't want to talk with people so much as I needed to be invisible in their midst on Friday.
I bought paint brushes.
Mama needs to paint.

On Paying Attention

2008-01-12T13:37:00.000-05:00

Recently I completed a book that I had once started as part of a class in college. It's called The Wisdom of Insecurity by Alan Watts. At the time I was given the assignment of reading it I found the language burdensom and heavy and the subject matter entirely uninteresting. I was a self-absorbed college freshman who knew everything in life and was completely unsure of why one would want to learn about a life approach that involved letting go of the overwhelming stock we humans put in specific things. In the things we use to build a fortress of security around a life that, I now understand, cannot be held safe, no matter the work we put forth in order to do so.
The book focuses on a few key items that I am working very hard to incorporate into my life approach, namely that life cannot be fully controlled, that faith in God means openess to the possibilities and continual exploration not closed beliefs and cement dogma and finally, that sometimes your brain doesn't know what is best for you and taking cues from your body is key because brain and body are one and you'll only be able to take care of your whole self if you listen to every part of the self.
So this got heavy fast, sorry. All I was really trying to get to is I have the day off today and I'm tired but I feel good and I want to be creating, I feel a yearning inside and for once instead of being overwhelmed by my brain's sense of "needing to do something more important" I'm still sitting in my beautifully sunlit room, in a cotton sundress reading, drinking coffee, listening and creating music, watching movies and writing. My physical being wanted this and I finally listened only to realize that what I was doing was finally listening to ME.

I even finished a song about giving into the physicality. It's the first song I've completed in months:

V 1:
Hey you handsome
Hiding in the night
I wish you'd look my way
I don't bite
The silent poet
With hair in your eyes
Hey pretty baby
Come be my vice

Chorus:
Lift me up
Take my hand
Tonight
Just give me a chance
Primordial dance
Tomorrow I'll be alright

V 2:
Devil in the corner
Hands dirty with dreams
Misfit with the handgun
Kill me with your screams
Hey blue jean deamon
Lets tango tonight
Put your hands on me
I won't fight

Chorus

Bridge:
You've taken me over
Pulled me down
Don't need your number
To keep you around
Just put your hands on me
And don't make a sound

Chorus

V3:
Hey you handsome
Hiding in the night
I wish you'd look at me
I don't bite
Hey pretty baby
Be my man
Tonight
Tonight
Tonight

24, Give me some mo!

2008-01-12T03:10:00.001-05:00

So I turned 24 and I think I did it with both grace and gratutious acts of craziness. I haved added a year, a pin in my wrist, a tattoo, a perminent brace on my teeth, a gaggle of close friends, a new job title and a sense of adulthood in the last year. I've completed a triathlon and successfully established myself in a new city. Looking forward I get a smile thinking of the possibilities.
Don't get hurt.
Don't forget to live.
and
always
love...

The Year in Review

2008-01-03T00:58:00.000-05:00

Why not a bit of a survey for a change...ha right::

1-Did you kiss anyone?
Certainly

2-Did you date anyone?
Nopers.

3-Are you going to have someone to kiss when the ball drops?
I did, her name is Beth and she's the bestest buddy a gal could ask for.

5-Did you gain any friends?
More than I could have prayed for.

6-Did you do something new?
I did, a triathlon as well as breaking bones/teeth...

7-Did anyone important to you die?
Some semi-close people

8-Did you change?
Gosh, I hope so

9-Are you happy with the year over all?
It was a tough year for me. Tough in the way that I feel like I've grown a lot and tough in that my body took a beating.

10-Whats the best thing that happen to you ?
Completing that triathlon was a major triumph for me both physically and mentally. So was getting a promotion at the theatre.

11-Did you fall in or out of love?
I fell in love with some friends in the friend way

12-Are you happy the years almost over?
I am looking forward, always forward

13-Are you going to change something about yourself next year?
My first tattoo is in the works and I have a goal: don't get hurt

14-Do you think 2008 will be a better year then 2007?
I'm hoping it isn't so filled with constant life trials

16-How many things did you screw up in 2007?
A couple of times on my bike (ha) and a few hundred times financially and maybe once or twice in the world of boys

17-Did you go to an amusement park?
sadly, no.

18-Did you go to a concert?
not enough.

19-Did you go to any parties?
South Philly summer 2007!

20-Did you go on a summer vacation?
I suppose so. I stayed in Michigan with the fam for 2 weeks.

22-Did you get into a fight?
A few close calls but no punches thrown. My daddy says to use my words.

23-Did you leave the country?
no

24-Did you have a good birthday?
I had a lovely birthday and am looking forward to another one next week!

25-Did anyone in your family get married?
Nopers. I've married off almost all the older siblings already!

26-Do you think you grew?
Honestly, yes. I think I charted another 1/8 inch which is really strange considering I'm nearly 24.

29-Did you dye your hair?
Just this weekend in fact.

28-Who do you think you were on the phone with the most?
My mom, Aunt Suz, Beth, Arizona

29-Did anyone sing to you?
Rachel and I sang to each other at a bar once and Beth sometimes leaves me singing voicemails.

30-Did you sing to anyone?
Whenever possible.

31-Did anyone tell you they loved you?
Yes, friends n family.

32-Did you ever go to the hospital?
More than I'd care to admit!

33-What did you drink and eat the most?
Water
Coffee
Bourbon
PBR
spaghetti
sammiches
cereal

34-Did you change your Myspace top friends atleast 8 times?
Probably.

35-Did you change your Myspace profile over 10 times?
Certainly

36-Did you change your Myspace default photo at least 20 times?
probably, I had a lot of photographic moments with my gals this year

37-Did you get a tattoo?
Not yet.

38-Did you vote?
No

39-Are you going to make a new years resolution?
I did ("Don't Get Hurt")

40-Did you stick to your new years resolution from last year?
Yes! I did that triathlon like nobody's business!

To Jorge, You Will Be Missed

2007-12-20T11:03:00.000-05:00

I just found out this morning that Jorge E. Maldonado (far right in photo) died of an aneurysm last night.
I didn't know him that well, other than his bright and welcoming smile every single day as he came and left the theatre during "Man of La Mancha." He always told me how lovely I looked and offered a big smile. I jokingly called him my gay crush as he was oh so beautiful to look at and I couldn't help being attracted to him in spite of him not being interested in the ladies :)
My heart goes out to his boyfriend Steve, who is also a lovely lovely person. Life is precious, life is unable to be explained, and you never know what today brings so love and live fully always.

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like...

2007-12-05T12:12:00.000-05:00

Christmas!
Working at the theatre I've been surrounded for the past week or so by beautiful ribbons, wreaths, lights and even a beautiful Menorah but my home was lacking a bit in the spirit of the season.
I found a few ornaments that made their way to Philadelphia with me and hung them from my curtain rods and hung Sir Elliot J. Daniels' stocking with care but my room didn't feel complete. Yesterday I purchased a couple strands of lights to hang around my windows because they face the street and last night I put them up. I laid in my bed smiling as I looked at the newly hung lights. There's something warm and candidly joyous about the light that Christmas lights give off. And now as I look outside at the snowflakes gently dancing through the air alongside my lights I can't help but look forward to December 23rd when I get to fly home and see my parents and some of my family. I've been away from them for far too long.

Pictures of ME

2007-12-05T01:54:00.000-05:00

I just ordered prints of myself to give to my parents, grandparents and aunt as a Christmas gift. This feels really bizarre. I know that they will be very excited to own a print of myself exiting the water of my triathlon looking rather fierce if I dare say so myself but it's still strange.
I remember my sister-in-law saying one year that it was bizarre to give a gift of herself. She said this in reference to the family portrait of her, my oldest bro (her husband) and their little girl. It was the portrait that they gave as a Christmas gift to my parents and a few other relatives. I didn't think much of it then, probably because it seemed like a perfectly lovely gift in my mind. But I think now I understand what she meant.
There's something grossly narcissistic about gifting an image of yourself. Even though I know ultimately my parents are going to feel so proud placing that photo on the mantle (and I paid the extra to have the race logo stamped into the lower righthand corner even!) but still, isn't it kind of funny to say "Hey it's ME! Look, I just gave you a photo of ME! Aren't you happy?!"
I think what this all boils down to is, I'm getting old. (I'm a mere month away from being 24 and moving out of my early twenties and into my MID TWENTIES?!)

New beginnings

2007-12-01T23:24:00.000-05:00

Well folks, with every new beginning comes a new haircut. That's my philosophy at least and so with the hopes that I'm leaving behind some horrible-ness that became a part of my day-to-day without me wanting it. So here's to new beginnings and fun new hair cuts!

(The extra views are for Miss Ali Kay!)

Can't we all just get along?

2007-11-28T00:41:00.000-05:00

I psyched myself up for a meeting today. It took me a good long weekend of thought and preparation. And then the meeting came, lasted 5 minutes and went just like that.
I don't know if things are going to change yet but I feel like the ball is moving forward in a direction of hope.

In other news, Beth and I drank for 12 hours yesterday. It all started with a new morning drink Beth dubbed the McMosa. She mixed white wine, Sprite and orange juice. It was delish. We then went to lunch at Alma de Cuba because she got a free lunch card. They paid for EVERYTHING (appetizer, drinks, entree, dessert). Full and farty, I mean happy, we decided it was time to try drunk shopping. That lasted all of 12 minutes in Urban Outfitters when Beth looked at her watched and said "It's about beer-thirty" and cue the 2 block walk to the Good Dog where we drank many beers and befriended an old guy. We then cabbed it to the grocery store and in our 7pm hella drunk state went back to my place to make spaghetti and watch YouTube before hitting the Heros train at 306 and enjoying a few more gin and tonics.

My head still hurts...I just can't decide if it's work or alcohol related at this point.
Speaking of my head, I'm thinking about cutting the hair on it like this:

The "beating a dead horse" scenario

2007-11-23T23:46:00.001-05:00

I've recently experienced the frustration of watching a situation ("the situation" I will now refer to as "the dead horse") be resurrected. I thought it had been ungracefully laid to rest but apparently not and now the dead horse is going to be beaten (and really if it's already dead why are you wasting your time beating it?).

I got so angry today I allowed a tear or two to drop from my eyes. This dead horse will get no more of my tears. Excuse me while I go pick up my spade and singlehandedly bury the mofo for good.

Of Pride and Frearful Lips and Fingertips

2007-11-20T00:49:00.000-05:00

How do you let go? How do you allow yourself to open up enough to allow help? to allow weakness? to allow acceptance? to let someone in?
How do you look past rejection and confusion, pride and fear of depedance? When do you grow past your insecurity and stand tall and naked and strong?
I was talking with an old friend. I really had a crush on him when I was younger. He was the first boy I'd been allowed to go on a date with, it was just after my 16th birthday. We went on three dates. He tried to kiss me on the lips on the third. I turned a cheek, scared to death that I wouldn't be good at kissing. Scared to death that I wouldn't be able to be what he was expecting.
I wasn't ready for french kisses and boys with deep voices and he surely was. I remember feeling confused during a night walk through his neighborhood (preceeding the fateful turn of the cheek) as he pointed out a star and "gave" it to me only to mention that he'd "given" another star to another girl he'd dated. It made me worry. He obviously had been on a date before and knew what to do whereas I was clueless.
I asked him to my homecoming the following week. He said he was busy and gave some bologna answer. I was crushed. It was the kiss I just knew it!
We still keep in touch. Through the years we rekindled our friendship here and there. A friendly date to a prom, a comforting late night chat online during finals week, a wave from across the church during a holiday mass, a cup of coffee over Christmas breaks, letters scattered across semesters and years until graduations and movements across the country took hold. Each time we interact I have this strange moment of "why do we still talk?" It's childish and yet entirely in line with my pride. I wonder why we still talk because a) we were never really close friends b) he was the first boy to make me feel total insecurity, to make me feel like the crap that is the stuff of high school emotions.
And then the e-mail appeared this week, he leaves in a little over a month to serve a yearlong tour in Iraq. He'd love me to write and send the occassional care package. He knows I'm a sucker for letters and feeling like someone needs my words. Our relationship will always befuddle me. Over the years our short interactions have barely scratched the surface though I always felt a spark between us when we were still in college. Today such feelings have dissipated into one or two obtuse e-mails a year that are worthy of mad-libs fill-in-the-blanks-mindlessly-answers.
But I can't help wondering about the past because I never could tell after we became friends again if he was hesitating to go in for a kiss because he worried that I would turn a cheek or if I was worried I was the only one wanting for a kiss and therefore turned a cheek just to be safe.
I suppose I'll never know.

Homesick

2007-11-19T00:52:00.000-05:00

I miss my family. It might be the weather. It might be a really bizarre change in myself recently that has left me feeling distant from everything/one around me and it might be that next week everyone in my family will be in the same household (all 6 of my siblngs, their wives and children and my parents and Aunt Suz) and I will be here---whatever it is, I feel really lonely for them. I am thankful for the family I've made here but I'm straight up old school homesick and it's tough right now.
I spoke with my mom on the phone today.
God, I miss her so much.

It's the most wonderful time of the year

2007-11-14T01:37:00.000-05:00

We've Come A Long Way Baby.

2007-10-16T10:38:00.000-05:00

I live here. I am so happy to finally live in a neighborhood. My best friends live mere blocks and doorsteps away.
It is truly amazing. We have started the South Philly invasion. Prepare yourself South Philadelphia, the party has arrived and we will not stop. Oh no, we will not stop.

The Beginning of Monday Adventures

2007-10-09T13:09:00.000-05:00

As many of you know, I have officially jumped into the world of theatre. The world of theatre runs on its own schedule, the world of theatre is full of drama and unconditional love, the world of theatre is frickin bizzare but hot dog do I love working in a live entertainment venue again.
So as noted, theatres run on a different schedule. Forget the 9-5, Monday thru Friday crap. I work Tuesday-Sunday and some days I work 5-11pm while others I work 11:30am-11pm. Monday is my day off. I repeat DAY, as in singular. It works out alright though thanks to many of my friends running on the same crazy schedule. Keeping said schedule in mind, a friend of mine, Rachel, and I decided to start what we dubbed "Monday Adventures."
Since Monday is our only full day off a week, we decided the theatre folk of the world should take it for all it's worth. Yesterday a few other theatre folkies took our idea to heart and decided we needed to go apple picking. The 5 of us hopped in Deb's Subaru and headed to Media, PA where we took over the Lilanova Orchards. While there we picked Red Delicious, Granny Smith, MacIntosh and Stamen apples. We also held an apple rolling contest (I won), pulled each other around in a wagon (some of us crashed coughRACHELandSARAcough), staged highly unpolitically correct photos involving black hired workers revolting and knocking out their white owners and running out of the orchards as well as photos reinacting Deb's famous apple-poo of last fall, drank apple cider and ate cider doughnuts and of course bought many things at the farmers market that we may or may not have really needed.
Here are a few highlights in photo form. *NOTE* If you don't have a sense of humor you may be offended. Deal with it :)

Teamwork=VICTORY!

The reinactment of what happens when you eat more apples than you pick...

Happy orchard workers...

The workers revolt, knock out one of "The Bosses" and avoid the wrath of the other!

"The Boss" gets knocked out darn tootin good.

Our runaways hide in the bushes

Apple Carting! It's huge in the midwest...

Apple Crashing! No one was hurt though Sara did nearly pee her pants.

The Apple Crew (L to R): MandaMcK, Sara, Rachel, AZ and Deb

The End!

The Face of the Earth...

2007-09-26T08:41:00.001-05:00

Now that's a sad story right there...

No, I haven't fallen off of it, it's just been a little nuts lately. Since August life has been all over the place. I went to Michigan to visit family and friends for 2 1/2 weeks, returned to a new job and getting surgery on my wrist. A week later I moved out of my apartment and onto the couch of my dear friends Arizona, Rachel and Dalice. Just two days ago I found out that I am going to be moving into an apartment a mere 4 doorsteps away from the couch where I'm currently staying. It is also just a few blocks away from my best friend and a few more blocks away from four of my other very close friends. Basically, it's really exciting but at the same time I have to move my things again and am still in a wrist brace from the surgery and also on theatre schedule so it's still bonkers here in MandaMcK world.
A quick rundown of random things in my life in the last six weeks...

I have slept on a fouton and considered it my bed for a month

Jay, the winner of season one project runway, lives across the street and he painted my nails last week

I have a screw in my wrist that will NEVER be removed

I had a 3' 6" old woman shake her cane at me and cuss me out at work because she was late to the show and I was doing my job

I have been living with a cat that salivates when he's happy

People I did not know played strip poker at the kitchen table that is a mere 8 feet from the fouton I call my bed

I experienced my first opening night at the theatre as an apprentice

I walked barefoot through South Philadelphia

I thought for a second that dating was a good idea and then remembered I hate dating

I saw Bat For Lashes and they were amazing

Creative writing has re-entered my life

And so I promise to start writing here again as well. Also if you want my new address to send me fun things, please let me know as it has changed since the last letter I wrote you (yes even if I sent that letter out just last week!)

Perco-Loopy

2007-08-26T23:21:00.000-05:00

Nurse Mom and the reluctant patient

They totally screwed me Friday! It's true. I arrived at the hospital at 10 a.m. sharp, my beautiful mother in tow, and prepared for my first surgery. After sitting around for a good hour I finally was called back to pre-op where I had to strip down and wear a fancy hospital gown and a paper-like "robe." I even got to sport the fancy brown non-slip socks and a blue hairnet. After another 2 hours in the pre-op room my dear friend John (I could be making that name up) came down with a gurney and wheeled me up into the wing of the hospital where my surgery was to take place. There I sat in the FREEEEEZING cold room for another 2 hours before the IV drip got droppin' and the scalpal got a'cuttin.

This is the latest wrist accessory. What do you think? Pretty, right?!

At some point prior to giving into the sleepiness of the drugs the resident orthopedic made a joke with my nurse about how I needed to be strapped onto the OR table so I didn't fall (I explained to them that I had fallen off my bike a few months prior to this accident, you know the time I knocked my front tooth out). At some point before I woke up in the recovery room entirely confused my surgery happened. They cut open my wrist, embedded a screw into the 2 pieces of my right scaphoid bone and closed me back up just like that.
For the rest of the weekend I laid in bed at the University City Sheraton with my Mom. She came down from Michigan to be with me for the procedure and to be my personal nurse for the weekend. It was actually a lot of fun, as silly as that sounds. I spent the weekend hopped up on Percocet, Motrin and Benedryl and got to hang out with my Mom too! Twas a blast. Being one of 7 kids makes times like this weekend extra awesome---I rarely get to spend time with my parents one on one and this weekend I had her all to myself for 3 days. We shared pints of ice cream and she laughed at my hazy headed antics. You see for some reason this time around Percocet was making me itch. I've used it in the past after my other injuries without any reaction but this time I was an itchy scratchy mess. After hearing from the doc that this was a common side effect easily taken care of with Benedryl I hopped on the drowsy bandwagon and added that lil pink pill to my cocktail.

My follow up is next Tuesday (Sept. 4) so wish me luck.

FIRSTS

2007-08-21T19:00:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was a day of many firsts. To begin---It was my FIRST time at a hand specialist and my FIRST time of hearing the words "you need surgery." On Friday I will partake in my FIRST invasive surgery when the FIRST screw to ever enter my body will be placed in my scaphoid bone to hold the two pieces together allowing for it to *hopefully* heal and work again.
Yesterday was also my FIRST day of work at the Walnut Street Theatre as the audience services apprentice. It felt really great to be at the theatre again and for the FIRST time in months my job placement felt right.
Last night was also my FIRST time at a gay bar. I went to support the crew of the Fringe Show "Debbie Does Dallas the Musical." They were having a quizzo night to raise money for their production. Sara May and I played "Debbie Does Quizzo" together. It was a rather naughty game with questions that left my sweet sweet self blushing a bit. Funny though, Miss May and I won round two in which I received my FIRST sex toy as a prize. I blushed a little more as they handed the buzzing bunny on a keychain to me along with a tube of some sort of lubrication but of course in good fun I posed with my teammate for a photo with our prizes. I then proceeded to drink my FIRST drink called a Madra or something to that effect.
Following the game of quizzo I spent my FIRST night at Arizona, Rachel and Dalice's new place. Which of course led to my FIRST time going into work this morning wearing a lot of the same clothes I wore yesterday...Luckily Arizona used to be the one who lived far from everyone else and always used to stay at my place and borrow my clothing and so when I looked in her closet this morning for a shirt to wear...I found one of MY own shirts and wore it.
Over the weekend I endured a couple of other firsts like getting my FIRST ER bill, my FIRST moment of "I might have to move home," my FIRST full out breakdown in Philadelphia and my FIRST time of having to fight an insurance company...but I'm fine now and I am staying in Philadelphia so it's okay. Yesterday I also found a place to live but for the FIRST time in my life I'm going to be homeless for a short period of time and will be hopping couches and beds for the month of September. I think it's going to be a fun adventure though so wish me luck.
Ah FIRSTS are always an adventure.

ER without George Clooney is Crap!

2007-08-02T21:46:00.000-05:00

So on Tuesday I'm sitting in the Detroit Metro Airport and let me tell you, all I could think was "in the last three days I’ve gotten mighty bored with waiting in lines and rows of chairs in spaces inhabited by unruly children, puking passersby and bad Musaq."
Monday I wasn’t able to get into the orthopedic specialist, apparently he’s a pretty popular fella, and due to Tuesday’s Michigan Adventure (just kidding not that one) I needed to go to the ER in order to get my wrist done up all pretty prior to the trip. When I was given this lovely news at 10am Monday morning I decided to pack up for what I knew was going to turn into a field trip so I showered, packed some food, a couple books and my iPod and set out for my ER excitement.
Upon entering the ER I noticed a couple of things that made me giggle, namely the fact that “Girl Interrupted” was playing on a large flat screen television in the midst of many semi-”I might be crazy” people and the continuous shatter and hum of a jackhammer. The first was funny to me merely because the old people inhouse were confused and mildly appalled at the movie while most of the others just drooled at the screen. Now, I’m not trying to stereotype the general group of people you find in an ER at 11am on a Monday but it was quite a group, seriously.
During the THREE HOURS I waited to be seen I encountered multiple far-to-close-to-me yack attacks, a lot of crying children with mothers who merely yelled at their kids or smacked their mouths hoping it would make them stop (yeah right) and a couple of highly irritable pregnant women (could ya blame em though?!).
The highlight of my trip actually occurred in my private room during the time the orthopedic fella on call was busy making my splint. The nurse practitioner on duty walked in and in her far to high and sweet voice she said “Amanda do you mind if I talk about another patient in front of you?” to which I replied “No” assuming that she just had a quick question about a broken leg or something for Orthopedic Fella. Of course it wasn’t so cut and dry. She proceeded to jump into this drawn out story involving a girl who had been hit by a car and a fist-sized bubble of gunk that was forming under the surface near her ankle. Needless to say hearing about the “multiple attempts with a needle to drain it” was about enough to make my stomach jump out of my throat and go running down Spruce Street back home.
So how do you like my latest accessory? Speaking of which, Sara I saw your comment and I will have a Midwest-inspired fashion (read Abercrombie & Fitch) post for you soon, there's just so much to comment on that I need to gather my thoughts!

Self-Medication is ALWAYS a Good Idea

2007-07-30T08:04:00.001-05:00

So I have now been living with a fractured wrist for five days and I still don't have a cast or any PAIN MEDICATION. Now this is partly my fault. You see, I categorically am a badass who has an incredibly high tolerence for pain and so I don't always go to doctors the way a lot of whiney babies do...But in this case it may have been the wrong route to take.
So Wednesday night I did a swan dive off my bike. Now you might be wondering why I did this but then that just means you didn't read my prior post, you know, the one with ILLUSTRATIONS and everything just to make sure you got what happened. So I swan dive, cuss about hurting my bike and then get up, brush off and continue on my way to the bar without any idea that the pain shooting through my right wrist is from a fracture, not just the aftereffects of a tumble that will be healed by the "medicine" I'm about to injest. So I go to the bar and promptly belly up with Beffers, the best friend and order a Miller High Life (aw the champagne of beers) and a shot of whiskey (for the pain of course, and with the newly acquired road rash who was the bartender to disagree?!). I end up having a few more before it's becoming apparent that I need ice and head home.
In the AM the trouble started. There still wasn't swelling or bruising so I thought I was good to go (these 2 things indicate a fracture). As mentioned in Friday's post I had a paramedic (who just happened to stop into the MAC store where I used to work, I say used to because Friday was my last day, boomshakalaka!) look at it. He said it totally was a fracture so I got into my doctor, but not until Friday. So Thursday night I decided it was best if I turned into the usual PBR-swilling gal that I am and enjoy my night while dulling the pain. Thing is, right now I can't even remember what I did on Thursday night so that must mean it was quality...
Friday the xrays were done and it was official, the wrist was fractured...it's called a scaphoid fracture and it is no good because it's the bone below your thumb that connects into the wrist. Anywho, Friday was Texan buddy Arizona Dakota's birthday---don't get confused, yes she's from Texas and yes her first name is Arizona Dakota. As aforementioned, Friday was also my last day at the MAC store so it was time to celebrate, and the lame-o splint I was given to keep my wrist from moving wasn't about to slow me down.
Oh so back to the wrist. Being the xrays were done on a Friday afternoon and everyone in the medical world apparently starts their weekend trips to St. Barth's at 3:00 p.m. that day I wasn't going to be seeing the orthopedic dude till Monday (today) meaning I had to wear said lame-o splint for the weekend.
So Friday I get out of work and head to Chaucer's to meet up with a few of the people from my job who I enjoy hanging out with outside of the workplace. In the hour and 1/2 that I'm there I down 3 pints of stoudt and a shot of Jameson. Happy last day of work to me. At this point the wrist is mighty fine and I'm ready to start working on calligraphy or something.
I bid farewell to my computer nerdy friends and headed to AZ's birthday party at the Jerk Hut. Mind you, most people ate at the Jamaican Jerk Hut but I showed up after the food was consumed so I just jumped into the bin of Corona's and went ahead and drank my dinner. At the hut the rain started to roll in and since we were at tables in the patio we decided to head to favorite dive bar #1, Bob and Barbara's for some City Specials. For you out-of-towners that's a shot of Jim Beam and a can of PBR for $3, yup, heaven. While at BnB's I realized suddenly that not eating dinner really changes things and so I only indulged in 1 special. Needless to say, again, the wrist wasn't bothering me at all!
Saturday night was more of the same involving taking out of towner buddies to Neighborhood Bar and drinking there for approximately 4 hours and then hopping to two other bars.
Did I mention I still don't have a cast? Orthopedic specialist is apparently booked up to the point where he can't take emergencies, like me, today. Did I also mention that I'm flying to Michigan tomorrow and will be there for 2 1/2 weeks before I return to start my job at the Walnut Street Theatre? Yeah, so that's starting to get me wondering what I should do about the cast action...I just might get to spend my Monday in the ER---better get the flask out of the cupboard!<

Hellbent on Breaking My Face

2007-07-26T12:30:00.000-05:00

I find it mildy tragic in the funniest of ways that this post comes directly after my celebration of getting the splint off the front of my teeth---a situation that occurred only after I did a swan dive over my handlebars.
Well friends, I like to keep it real so I decided to crash again last night to keep things fun and lively. Let me just say right now that no teeth were lost and/or damaged during said crash so quell those fears friends, this was just a shining moment in MandaMcK stupidity.
The story goes something like this--I'm sitting at neighborhood bar throwing back some beer of choice (1/2 off cans on Wednesdays is a beautiful thing) with my favorite Kalamazoo couple (Wanye and Amy), Best Friend (Beth) and boyfriend of Best Friend (Rafiq). We decide after consuming 3-4 tallboys each that we are going to go to NoLibs Dancespot. Now this isn't normal for me...meaning riding my bike whilst buzzed but it didn't seem like a huge deal and I've done it before so Beth and I hop on our bikes and Amy and Wayne hop the train with plans to meet at their stop on Spring Garden St/2nd Street.
The ride is enjoyable, not a lot of traffic and a moment of pointing out where First Accident happened. When we get to 8th and Spring Garden we notice major roadwork. The street has been stripped down to this horrid bumpy mess that rivals ungraded dirt roads in northern Michigan. We take note of the lack of pedestrians and vouch for smoother ground---we jump onto the sidewalk. I would like to point out that I HATE riding on the sidewalk because it's dangerous for riders and pedestrians and bikes belong on the road but as aforementioned, this was a special circumstance.
Things were going fine until Beth yelled out "There's Silk City"---a hipster bar that was supposed to be serving free Colt 45 and proceeded to slam on her brakes (with me a mere bikelength behind her). As I pictured my death I quickly squeezed my brakes with the strength of 18 bears only to have my front wheel faintly brush Beth's backwheel. As I wobbled carefully I managed to pull it back together gracefully enough that Beth didn't even know our wheels hit. I then proceeded to remind her that we had 2 Kalamazooans to pick up 4 blocks down the street at the subway to which she laughed, said "Oh" and continued to pedal while I worked hard to ease the mounting heart attack in my chest from the near collision.
At some point in the following four blocks I took the lead and as I saw the train station coming into view in the near distance I turned to Beth and said, get this, "Look there's the train station" only to turn back around and realize I was about to slam headlong into the back end of a cement wheelchair ramp. Please take note:

So as I try to figure out what just happened and figure out what Beth is yelling at my I immediately clutch my mouth---it's only been 2 days since I got the splint off the teeth from Accident One and I freaked out that I did something. Luckily there's no teeth trauma but my right wrist hurts like an M-Fer and lets just say I was wearing a spaghetti strap tank top so my left wrist, shoulder and upper left boob are a road rash mess along with my temple. After yelling about my bike being messed up again and trying to explain to Beth why this is more important than my somewhat beaten to a pulp body I got up and was ready to meet up with Amy and Wayne and go to the bar....and I did....and then I woke up this morning feeling like I had wrestled a large band of spider monkeys the night before and wondering if I would be able to button my pants due to the pain in my wrist (just barely but it took a damn long time to get that stupid button through the hole!).
So then at work after explaining the fiasco to all my horrified co-workers I began to wonder if my wrist was sprained or possibly fractured. Wouldn't you know it, a medic came in to buy new earphones so I hounded him at the register and had him look at the wrist. He took a good 4 minute look at it, shook his head at me and said he was almost 100% sure it was fractured. Of coures I call my doctor and no one answers and the machine recording says "Any messages received after 3:30pm will be listened to the following day", it was 3:40pm. So now it's 3am and I'm fuzzy on leftover Percocet from my previous crash contemplating the bottle of rum sitting in the kitchen with a bum wrist and one more day of work left at my current job. Well, I'm still deciding on that rum but for now I'll close with this:

"Fashion forecast: Road rash is the new black"

AHHHHH YAY!

2007-07-23T10:24:00.000-05:00

I got the split off my front teeth this morning!!!!!!

Tagged!

2007-07-20T19:27:00.000-05:00

So Alison tagged me with this lil number...here it goes:

Five (5) things about me you may not know:

1. When I was born I had a severe heart murmur and had to go to a heart specialist for the first 4 years of my life.
2. I get uncharacteristically angry if someone puts the toilet paper on the roll so it falls under not over
3. I think motherhood is the most amazing job in the world and hope that it is part of my life some day
4. I'm petrified of dating but dream of marriage so I guess I just need to find a guy and get married the next day and be done with it!
5. I have a heart shaped birthmark on my belly that only shows up when I get tan

I don't feel like "tagging" anyone but if you read and feel like filling this out, more power to ya!

Long Gone

2007-07-18T10:44:00.000-05:00

The road never stops winding. And as soon as I turn the corner I'm uncertain of what I'll find floating in the gutters, spinning on the sidewalks and stepping into my path. In the past few weeks I've seen a beautiful ballet in the summer air, felt like a bird flying through summer breezes with my feet on the pedals of my lovely bike, gotten lost in the halls of grand buildings filled with the creative ponderings of artistic geniuses and splashed in the streams of my dear city.
Next week I bid farewell to a job that has caused me great joy and great distress only to move forward (I hope) to a job that may do the same but hopefully will lift my spirits instead. I've been battling with the emotions in my head and heart about jobs, friends and futures. I've been putting up my guard and grinding my teeth in my sleep. I spent an entire weekend holding back and holing up in hopes of not making any major mistakes. And yet I keep wondering if my extreme caution is keeping me from experiencing the visceral joys and pains that make life the gift that one should never take for granted.
Jump in with two feet child. The worst that can happen is failure and no one is judging you for that.

There are some days (and sometimes weeks/months) that I just want to have a label on my forehead that reads much like those found on bottles of prescription medications.

I would have two labels: "Weird sometimes without explanation" and "Taken best with a lot of human contact."

Two's Company

2007-07-16T21:11:00.001-05:00

This weekend I had some company. A familiar face c/o Kalamazoo came straight from D.C. Yes, that's exactly what I mean. Dear Darling is staying in D.C. for the summer teaching inner city kids how to swim and used his proximity to Philadelphia as an excuse to see a new city and catch up with me.

Chris doesn't play guitar. He flicks strings and sings about my non-existant ex-boyfriends and "Eating fucking sherbert"

Apparently Ethiopian food can double as mask-making material, who knew?

Eyes gallery is always good for a photo op.

Sacagewea did nothing to deserve such blatent disrespect.

Somewhere between the beer, walking, artwork and did I mention walking? there was a lot of laughing. A LOT of laughing.

What's not to love about that?

TRIMATHAMAMLONONONON

2007-07-10T23:49:00.000-05:00

More Than Success!

2007-07-08T15:28:00.000-05:00

I made it. I more than made it, I smashed my arbitrary goals and made each goal I'd set myself for during the race....most importantly, freestyle swimming the entire time (never stopping to catch my breath and not moving) and never slowing to more than a jog during the run. I even managed to keep my legs moving 99% of the bike ride...I didn't even allow myself to coast on the downhills, I pushed it all the way.
...AND THE RESULTS!

Click on the image to read!

Race Morning

2007-07-08T04:27:00.000-05:00

It's 5:30 a.m. I've been awake for a 1/2 hour and am sitting in the bathroom of my family's hotel room drinking a little black coffee (to ensure so potty time prior to heading to the race site) and eating Luna Bars (to ensure that I consume enough calories without eating something that I might ralph up later). My tummy is in a comfortable little knot growing with anticipation and my mind is set on the perfect two arms up in the air pose that I plan on striking as I cross the finish line.
The course isn't a bear but it will pose plenty of obstacles, like a rather steep incline at the exit from the river which means sprinting in sand barefoot and the strangest thing ever...winds coming off the river that result in you biking INTO the wind no matter which direction you are going (north or south).
Luckily there's a slight downgrade heading into the finish so at least I will make a good showing leading into each transition as well as the final finish.
At this point all I can say is, I'm ready, lets do this!

Dear Lord,
Please keep me and my competitors safe today. May we all find a little space for growing along the way and cross that finish line with the biggest smile we can muster up after 750m of swimming in a river, 17 miles of biking around said river and 3.2 miles of running...because THIS is what we do for fun!

Her Name is Bella

2007-07-06T15:48:00.000-05:00

...and I really want to adopt her, is this silly?

Bella

I HAVE A BIB # ASSIGNMENT!

2007-07-03T15:20:00.001-05:00

Hi friends-
Below you will find all the specs, maps, timelines for my race this weekend. If you have any questions please let me know. Thank you so much for your support along the way, I really appreciate it and if you'll be at the race----I can't wait to see you at the finish line/along the way. You're the best!

RACE TIME:
8am the first wave starts. I am in the 7th wave & will be donning a bright powder blue swimcap! There will be a few minutes between each wave so I will be starting shortly after 8am.

COURSE:
http://www.cgievents.com/cgiracing/pwt/pdfs/Swim.pdf
http://www.cgievents.com/cgiracing/pwt/pdfs/Bike.pdf
http://www.cgievents.com/cgiracing/pwt/pdfs/Run.pdf

These are maps of each portion of the race. All events will go through the transition area where, go figure, I will be transitioning from one event to the next. This area is located at the intersection of Black Road and MLK Dr/West River Drive. If you stay near this area you will see me 4 times throughout the race and be relatively close to the finishline as well. The swim start will take place in the water (meaning we won't hear a gun go off and have to run into the water but rather will be in the water when the gun goes off). This area is about 1/4 mile from the transition area so I suggest just missing the start unless you want to rush to the finish area of the swim portion.

DETAILS:
according to the web site:
park cars in the area of Memorial Hall.
PLEASE PARK CAR ON ANGLE.
NO PARKING CARS ON GRASS YOU WILL BE TICKETED AND TOWED.
DO NOT LEAVE ANY VALUABLES IN YOUR CAR.
*Walk down Black Rd. to transition area located on West River Drive (Martin Luther King Dr.)

SO YOU CAN SPOT ME:
My bib #: 609
My trisuit is bright orange and yellow

For any other info or if you're just curious about the race you can check out www.cgiracing.com and look up the details for the PHILADELPHIA WOMEN'S TRIATHLON.

Thanks again!!!

Love
Amanda Marie

Another place to read about stuff and things

2007-07-02T11:09:00.000-05:00

Hey kids,
I've been trying to spark my fashion writing and decided one of the best ways is practice and a lovely place to practice is in a blog so here we go: How You Wear It

Also, I went to Bedford, MA this weekend to visit my brother and his family. We played on the playground a lot as Liliana is 3 1/2 and Joshua is 15 months. It was exhausting but a lot of fun too. This week is prep week. I'm just 6 days out from te triathlon and things are feeling great. I am in a very relaxed state of mind and in preparation for the event I've taken a 2 1/2 week hiatus from drinking. I am prepared. I am happy about my decision to do this race and I am confident that it will be a very big growth point for me mentally and physically.

Worth It

2007-06-29T12:26:00.001-05:00

For the past two weeks I've been going through major job burnout! I'm tired of hearing about the iPhone and how people are angry with the fact that we aren't carrying it (not our choice) blah blah blah.
But today I had a moment that redeemed the gunk of this job for a bit. A gentleman came in and purchased 18 iPod Shuffles for the nursing staff who cared for his premature baby girl. She was born 3 months early and very sick. She is now very happy and alive and doing wonderful. He wanted to thank the staff who helped his lovely Flora survive. How awesome.
It's the little things that help you to get by sometimes and remind you of the value in keeping things in perspective. I'm healthy, I'm happy, I'm getting paid regularly, I'm doing just fine.
And to Flora, glad you're still here with us, it sounds like you've got two wonderful parents and a beautiful life ahead of you.

Carmen and Claps of Thunder

2007-06-28T09:13:00.000-05:00

Last night turned into an impromptu evening of classical music with the perfect natural accompaniment. My boss had two tickets in the orchestra of the Mann Music Center for violinist Itzhak Perlman and the Philadelphia Orchestra. The lineup was as follows:
Chabrier: España
Mendelssohn: Violin Concerto in E minor, Op. 64
Shchedrin: Carmen Suite (after Bizet)

To my bosses chagrin I had no idea who Itzhak Perlman was nor did I understand that I was going to be seeing a rather famous violinist. To my chagrin, he wasn't very good. But that didn't really matter to me. I was in an outdoor concert venue built ground to ceiling with beautiful stained wood, watching the Philadelphia Orchestra (for the second time and I was blown away again) with my dear friend G who just so happened to study composition at Oberlin and little did I know....I was about to see one of the best finishes to a show ever thanks to the perfectly boiling thunderstorm that was preparing to take the stage.

After Mendelssohn's Violon Concerto in E Minor came the Carmen Suite. Now one of the most enjoyable parts about this piece is the fact that none other than LOONEY TOONS can be thanked for thousands of children worldwide knowing bits and parts of this piece created for the composer's ballerina wife. There were moments where I actually giggled to myself because I was one of those kids.

It was about 1/2 way into the Carmen Suite that the air started to take a different feel. The heavy mugginess of a weighted summer began to lift and give way to the sway of cool breezes. In the distance thunder began to rumble. It began as muffled whispers and over a period of 20 minutes grew into a booming bonanza of brilliance. It seemed as though the thunder would clap everytime there was a lull in the music, like God's own addition to an already lovely piece of music. As the Suite died down the sky built up. Lightning danced through the sky with smaller intervals between pirouettes, while the wind started to move the branches of the trees in a sensual sashay. The lightning bugs pranced through the pavilion like faeries and the crickets added their own section of strings to the eb and flow of music coming from the stage.

Many people chose to leave with the onset of pre-storm melodies but thanks to our "under the pavillion seats" G and I stuck it out and were able to enjoy an unprecedented evening of music and nature working together side-by-side.

When the music ended God took over and with a final sweep of the branches of the trees the downpour began. G and I prepared ourselves as we stepped out from under the eves of the pavilion and within 20 feet we were soaked to the bone. There was no fighting nature so instead we danced and bounced our way to the bus lifting our hands to the sky joining in the unparalleled applause of the forces that wrap us in beauty day after day.

Just Beachy!

2007-06-26T09:10:00.000-05:00

So we went to the beach. It was pretty great. But Jersey really isn't so pretty...

A New Outlook

2007-06-25T12:15:00.000-05:00

So it's been a bumpy road but I had a "come to Jesus moment" last night and I have an entirely new outlook on my race, or rather, the outlook I've been trying to achieve from the start.
This triathlon is not meant to be a competition for me, it is not meant for me to prove anything to anyone except myself and that only goes so far as "I know I can do this." This triathlon is supposed to be fun. Yes, I said fun. These are the sort of things I do for fun, namely, challenging myself to do something new. Now over the course of my training I've been telling myself that my only goal is to cross the finish line with a smile on my face. The thing is, that has never really been my motivation at the gym or on the road but rather "I have to do this and do it well." I am oftentimes my worst enemy, holding myself to perfection at all times, not asking for help when I might need it and ultimately attempting to do everything on my own without allowing myself to make mistakes along the way. Basically, this has been the tone of my training and it's beaten me up rather well.
Last night something clicked. Something in my head finally made the connection and I'm feeling much better about the race and not freaking out about it as much as I was before. This is not a competition for me, this is a challenge and my ultimate goal is finally what I always tried to say it was, to cross the finish line with a smile on my face. Competition can be achieved in my second tri, if I find this to be a sport I'm generally interested in investing time and effort into.
That being said, the specs for the race are as follows for those who would like to come out on a lovely July morning and watch me bumble my way through a 1/2 mile of swimming, 17 miles of biking and 3.2 miles of running. I'd love to hear your voice (over the sound of my own grunts and moans haha) from the sidelines.

I'm participating in the Philadelphia Women's Triathlon. I will know the day before exactly what wave I'll be in and you can see the courses at the following web site: CGI RACING
It's Sunday July 8th, the first wave starts at 8am
It's in the Art Museum district with the swim taking place in the Schuylkill and the biking/running portions following MLK Blvd. and Kelly Drive.

EDIT: And here are a few BEAUTIFUL (not to mention inspiring) photos from the Philadelphia Triathlon

ReBalanced

2007-06-23T14:50:00.000-05:00

Well, Thursday night my friend Chris re-balanced my wheel free of charge so the ole bike is back in working order and so am I. I have a bit of a bruise on my leg where the car hit but nothing major. Today I had a good workout invovling 30 minutes of drills on a stationary bike and swimming 1/4 mile. It felt good and I'm feeling better about the race.
I have a lot on my mind but mostly I just keep thinking about kicking that triathlon's butt, I mean I have taken a beating for it so I might as well beat it back.

In other news Andy is in town for the weekend. I've only seen him for like 2.5 seconds but hopefully I'll see him a bit today and tomorrow. There's plans to go to a buddy's bbq tonight so that should be fun.
Next weekend I'm off to Boston to see my brother and his family. I can't wait to hang out with him and his wife and play with my niece and nephew.

I'm turning into a jet-setter...I've been on a plane at least once every 2 months for the past year. That's weird for me. I won't be able to do such things once I start at the theatre but it will be SO worth it.

Defeated

2007-06-20T22:32:00.000-05:00

I don't know what's going on right now but I feel like God is trying to tell me that I'm not supposed to compete in this triathlon or something. I've been getting the shit beat out of me ever since I began training in January. First a major upper respitory infection that lasted 3 months, multiple re-tears of the same quad muscle, a rather eventful fall on my face and tonight I got hit by a car and am nursing a less-than-happy quad muscle that was rammed into the bumper of a woman's car.

I'm starting to think about throwing in the towel for this tri and signing up for one in a few months. Both physically and mentally I am cashed right now and it's a mere 2 weeks away. Can I get my head on straight enough to be a competitor by then?

It's looking unsure right now. I'm going to bed now. Hopefully I'll have things more sorted out in the morning. I feel defeated and I haven't even begun.

Action, That's What I'm Talking About

2007-06-20T14:51:00.001-05:00

Today I went to my trusted dentist, Dr. Anthony and he, like myself, was apauled to hear that the doc taking care of me in the ER thought I should wait (with makeshift braces) for 4 weeks before taking any action on my tooth situation. Dr. A made a couple calls to get second and third opinions and then made a referral and tomorrow at 2:15 p.m. I will be getting my third root canal. They, most likely, will be taking out the remainder of the root that didn't break off with the rest of my tooth and taking it out, taking out the nerve endings, filling the gap where the roots were and possibly reattaching my tooth to that fake root. It should be an interesting afternoon. I look forward to seeing the next episode of "Amanda's Tooth Troubles."

Edit: Tonight a car pulled out in front of me while I was on my bike and I sideswiped the car. Seriously, God, why don't you want me to ride my bicycle? Anywho, I have a bruised knee and a front wheel that's off-center a bit and needs to be adjusted but I'm fine. I am just really bummed that this happened my first day back on the bike. I am going to go hide in my room now.

Wolverine

2007-06-18T22:13:00.000-05:00

My skin is an amazing amazing organ. It's working like mad redeveloping layers upon layers of protective covering for my insides and namely my poor little face. The road rash is nearly gone and the three stitches in my upper lip have all fallen out in the last three hours. I go to the oral surgeon tomorrow for a follow up. I also will be taking my bike to Bicycle Therapy for some adjustments following my spill. On Wednesday I go to my dentist to see what he thinks should be the next step toward my full recovery.
Also, the swelling has gone down enough that I no longer have a speech impediment.

It's Getting Better All the Time

2007-06-17T12:44:00.000-05:00

Today the swelling in my face has gone down and the road rash is looking less ooooozy but the other areas of my body aching has begun. My right shoulder, specifically my tricep are rather sore, I've got a nice bruise on my inner thigh where my saddle dug into my leg, my neck is achy and my right leg is a little tender. Ultimately I'm doing just fine and am optimistic about the speed of my healing thus far.

Yesterday my beautiful neighbors Rachel and Nate brought me a care package of potato leek soup, fresh apple cider and mint fudge ice cream (my favorite!). They also brought me some wonderful organic muscle rub and the first season of Twin Peaks because I started watching it with them at our neighbor dinner on Thursday and Rachel has gotten me hooked. They stuck around and watched 2 episodes with me before they had to go get ready for their dinner reservations but the company was so wonderful and the fact that they brought me dinner was just above and beyond.

Also, Mister Oscar Allen is doing just fine. He just currently looks like a proper court jester...

Broken in Both the Phyiscal and Mental Sense

2007-06-15T23:52:00.001-05:00

It's amazing what can happen in a split second. I got cocky on my bike today and thought I could zip through traffic and then pop up a curb to get out of harms way...I was wrong. I miscalculated the curb and hit it midway sending my body over my handlebars and my face into the concrete. I woke up to blood gushing out of my nose and mouth and my left front tooth looking at me from the concrete beside me where it laid amidst some pebbles and the like.
After sorting out what had just happened, picking up my bike, taking some paper towel from a nearby cabbie and calling Beth I proceeded to my gym. There I stopped by the smoothie shop and got a glass of milk to put my tooth in, headed to the front desk and got the receptionist to look up my dentists' #, called the doc and headed to the ER where he said there was a chance they could reattach my tooth so long as it happened within 2 hrs of the tooth being smashed out of my face.
I waited about 35 minutes before they took me back and another 35 before I saw the oral surgeon who then shoved my tooth back up into my face, placed titanium chainlink across the front of my teeth and clumsily cemented it across my 6 front teeth to keep the tooth in place in hopes that the nerves will reconnect and all will be well. He also put 3 stitches in my lip and cleaned the road rash on my face. I was lucky enough to enjoy a tetanus shot, IV of morphine and antibiotics and a parting gift of prescriptions for percocet and more antibiotics.
I walked from the hospital (15th & Race) to the 24HR Rite Aid (23 & Walnut) to fill my prescriptions and then put my ass on a bus. I waited patiently, slightly nervous because I had never had to put my bike on the front of a bus before but I figured it wouldn't' be a big deal. Bus came I put my bike on the front but I couldn't get the safety bar to go over my front wheel. I walked to the side where I asked the driver for help. He yelled at me for not knowing what to do and I said "Look at my face, I just got in an accident" and he continued to yell at me and say I had no business taking the bus if I didn't know what to do.
At this point I was emotionally exhausted and began to break down. I took my bike off the rack and defeated, I walked away holding back sobs (mind you, I bent the right hood of my 1 wk old brand new bike when I hit the curb so I couldn't ride it home). In my haste I forgot to put the rack on the front of the bus back up so the driver had to get out and put it up and as he did so he yelled to me "You deserved to get hit after you fucking held up all these people."
I didn't even turn around, instead I continued to walk toward my house (49th & Pine) and I lost it. On the bridge crossing the Schuylkill I felt entirely defeated and just leaned against the wall and sobbed. I tried to contact Beth but she was at a party and no longer able to understand what I was trying to tell her so I continued my long walk home.
Now I am home, attempted to slurp down some macaroni and cheese and waiting for the percocet to kick in because my face is throbbing, my lips are cracked and I am certain that there is an audible WHAAAMP WHAAAAMP coming from my head as it reels in pain.
I feel so utterly alone right now. I finally got home just before 1am. I was taken into the ER at 7:30. I have nothing left.
I was so excited to do the brick tomorrow morning in the Art Museum (Bike/Run). The race coordinator put together a meetup workout tomorrow for anyone participating in the triathlon. It will consist of doing the bike and then run portions of the course I'll be doing for the tri. I can no longer participate. I'm crushed.

Singular

2007-06-15T15:13:00.000-05:00

Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1) - Cite This Source
sin·gu·lar [sing-gyuh-ler] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
–adjective
1. extraordinary; remarkable; exceptional: a singular success.
2. unusual or strange; odd; different: singular behavior.
3. being the only one of its kind; distinctive; unique: a singular example.
4. separate; individual.
5. Grammar. noting or pertaining to a member of the category of number found in many languages that indicates that a word form has one referent or denotes one person, place, thing, or instance, as English boy and thing, which are singular nouns, or goes, a singular form of the verb go. Compare dual (def. 4), plural (def. 4).
6. Logic.
a. of or pertaining to something individual, specific, or not general.
b. (of a proposition) containing no quantifiers, as “Socrates was mortal.”
7. Mathematics.
a. of or pertaining to a linear transformation from a vector space to itself that is not one-to-one.
b. of or pertaining to a matrix having a determinant equal to zero.
8. Obsolete. private.
9. Obsolete. single.
–noun Grammar.
10. the singular number.
11. a form in the singular.
[Origin: 1300–50; ME < L singulāris. See single, -ar1]

—Related forms
sin·gu·lar·ly, adverb
sin·gu·lar·ness, noun

—Synonyms 1–4. peculiar. 2. bizarre, queer, curious. 3. uncommon, rare. 4. single.
—Antonyms 1. usual.

I fit in there somewhere lately.

Poor Kitty

2007-06-14T10:21:00.000-05:00

Well, I spent my morning at the kitty hospital because Mister Oscar Allen is not doing very well and Beth is currently on a plane heading back to Philly after a 4-day stay with her family in Michigan.
On Sunday I noticed that one string of my string bikini was much shorter (about 6 inches) than the other and as per the usual, Oscar was suspect---he loves to chew. On Monday I woke up to him spitting up massive amounts of water and saliva. It continued on Tuesday and so I pulled out my kitty emergency book and read up on possible solutions/whether or not he should go to the vet. I did some alterations to the living sitch, namely separting the kitties so I could figure out if Oscar was eating/drinking. On Wednesday it looked like he had been so I held off on the office visit but he continued to be uncharacteristically lethargic. Last night I took him to bed with me and had him curl up on the bed next to me. He hardly moved the entire night and this morning I decided something had to be done so I made the executive surrogate mother decision to take him to the kitty hospital. They got him in promptly at 9:30am, just a mere 1/2 hour after opening. I was grateful for their efforts to change appointments to take a look at him.
After seeing the X-Ray and detecting high abdominal discomfort the DOC let me know that she really thought he needed to go into surgery. On the X-Ray I was able to see massive amounts of gas backed up in his belly and where the string was actually causing his intestines to accordian into a very small region in his middle. I haven't made the decision for surgery yet because it's going to be a couple grand and I can't make that choice for Beth. Her flight should be landing within the hour. I am anxious to talk with her and get Oscar on the road to recovery.

UPDATE:
Oscar is out of surgery, they did indeed find a good chunk of my bikini strap in his intestines. He'll be at the kitty hospital until Saturday for recovery and is currently doing well.

Here We Go!

2007-06-12T12:18:00.000-05:00

My Tuesday afternoon was fruitful...not work-related, but fruitful:

I purchased my trisuit.

An Enjoyable E-Mail to Break Up a Boring Monday

2007-06-11T15:38:00.000-05:00

So today I was invited to join this lovely web site dedicated to sharing book reviews and allowing you to be a part of community of readers so as to get suggestions for future book/magazine endevors. I decided to hop on board and join while also inviting multiple writers/friends to join it as well. On a whim I also invited a couple of the writers that I've interviewed in the past and received the most enjoyable e-mail back from one such writer/columnist, Ayun Halliday. Her response is as follows. I think she managed to epitomize the center of most writers' insecurities in such an honest simple way. This woman is just plain awesome.

"Dear Amanda,
Thank you so much for inviting me to join you on good reads. I'd never
visited the site before and think it's a thrilling idea.
I opened Pandora's box though, like always, and found some really
scathing gnarly reviews of my stuff (and me personally!) by a couple of
participants and I fear I'd go down that rabbit hole never to emerge.
Them bad apples can really spoil the bunch and the last thing my kids
need is me spending more time running around the internet, tearing my
hair out because people I haven't met hate me!
But you, miss, have made my day by liking me enough to invite me in
something that would be really cool to belong to if I wasn't a sitting
duck for shit that tends to stick!
happy mondays.
x
ayun
Dare To Be Heinie!"

Head Over Heels in Love

2007-06-09T13:18:00.001-05:00

Well friends, it's finally happened...I'm in love. His name is Stan and he's just about the most beautiful thing you've ever seen.
STAN:

He's a Specialized Allez Double and after just one day of riding him around town (har har that came out dirtier than planned) I'm very pleased with my purchase. I'm going to take him for a nice journey along the Schuylkill after work and maybe to Manayunk later. He's going to be a key player in my triathlon and in my commuting to and from work. I have a few things to change out (quick release tires, addition of a second set of brake levers, water bottle holders) but straight off the showroom floor I'm really impressed with the ride and the fit. I'm scared out of my mind to leave him locked up outside though and I'm already considering purchasing another beater bike to ride around town and just keep Stan for racing purposes. I have a second tri in mind in Sept. or Oct. (though that means I'll be purchasing a wetsuit but whateva) and I have my eyes on a few cycling races as well so the future for dear Stan is bright with use and excitement.
Oh Stanny boy, you ARE rather handsome indeed.

It May Be A Computer Store But...

2007-06-05T09:41:00.000-05:00

There are a lot of noteable people that like to stop through this place.

In the last two weeks I have waited on multiple noteables via telephone or in person. That's one thing this place is always good for...an entirely unexpected face/voice.

I've rung up:

Ahmir (?uestlove of the Roots)
Nathan (of BoyzIIMen)
Will Smith Sr. (As in the Fresh Prince's father, who happens to live in my neighborhood)

I've spoken with on the phone:

DC Parmet (Elton John's manager)
Eric Bazillian (songwriter...he wrote "What if God Was One of Us" haha)

I've done shipments for:
Nancy Wilson (of Heart)
Elliot Easton (guitarist of The Cars)
The sound engineer for Incubus
The sound engineer for The Artic Monkeys
Multiple members of Kiss

And right now I am chatting with Mayor Street...he's a lot nicer than I expected from all the crazy photos I've seen of him around Philadelphia.

In It's Singular Form It Lacks Enthusiasm

2007-06-03T19:51:00.000-05:00

Last night I saw the Pistons fall to the Cavs and bid farewell to their chances at a 2007 Championship. All I have to say is, they didn't deserve it with the way they played so I can't be too upset. The Cavs worked hard, James worked is usual workhorse not-human load and they won. End of story.

Tonight I am sitting here wondering what I'm going to do on the nights that I used to go to the Good Dog, drink with good friends and yell at a television screen. Have I really gotten that one dimensional in the last two months?
I know that I have been avoiding time alone. Part of this is merely enjoying the summer and pushing forward in the continuation of what Beth and I refer to as "Summer Fun Time." Part of it is immaturity. I no longer feel like dealing with the reality of life, the deep stuff that's been the thrust of my life up to this point in the game.
I just want to relax and enjoy but when the rain starts to fall and your best friend is occupied with a possible love interest the air feels heavy with more than just dampness. The loneliness kicks in as I flip through my phonebook and come up empty handed. No one I know well enough to just call up and have sit at the house and watch a movie. My arsenol of close friends is limited. That's not to say it's a bad thing but on nights like tonight when all I want to do is relax and I can't fathom doing it alone, I get worried. Why can't I do this alone? A few minutes into the movie and I am flipping through the phonebook again. Nothing.

The pang of singlehood stabs you in the ribs when you least expect it. When your friends are occupied and your night is not.

Some nights this city feels too small. Tonight, it feels as large and silent as the Sahara Desert. If I were in Michigan I'd hop in my truck and drive to the lake, but how's a girl to escape when she has no means of getting to a destination she still doesn't know?

Fountains and Such

2007-06-01T11:43:00.001-05:00

After the dissapointing loss in double overtime last night Beth and I felt it necessary to drown our sorrows...well, I wasn't expecting that to be a literal reference but it turned into one when Rafiq, Chris, Beth and myself got caught in the major downpour monsoon on our walk back to Fiq & Chris' apartment. On the way we passed the Philadelphian where Beth felt that it was necessary to take a dip in the front fountain, so I joined her. Above is the fountain we graced with our presence.
Despite the loss (LeBron James is officially not human) the night was a blast. After piling our soaked clothes in the bathroom and changing into basketball shorts and t-shirts we hung about chatting and slurring and then it finally dawned on me that I needed to go to sleep since I knew I'd be getting up before 7 in order to get back to West Philly, shower and get to work on time.
I haven't had that much ridiculousness in one evening in a long time and I hope there's more to come but, I definitely need more than 3 hours of sleep tonight so that might have to wait until tomorrow.

He Took The Words Right Out of My Mouth

2007-05-31T16:27:00.000-05:00

"Drew “fucking” Gooden?

Come on…let me repeat that for you…Drew “fucking” Gooden. Put a body on him and he is null and void. He wouldn’t start on most teams in the league, so how about you end this little party before it gets out of hand. Not even David Stern really wants to see Drew Gooden…umm “rise up.” And for fuck sake, somebody shave the pubic growth on the back of his head. I don’t care if he lost a bet…its gots-ta-go."

Taken from: The Ghosts of Wayne Fountes (http://ghostsofwaynefontes.blogspot.com/2007/05/get-over-hump.html)

Well...

2007-05-30T10:48:00.000-05:00

Really, this doesn't need much of an introduction but rather the simple statement of, "Beer, it makes you super awesome"
Thanks for this one Sara May.

A Thunderstorm to Clear the Air

2007-05-29T10:12:00.000-05:00

It's been tough moving for me lately. My head has been reeling without an end in sight and my heart uncertain of what risks it is willing to partake in but Friday Aunt Suzie came to town and helped to clear the air along with a beautiful Saturday night Thunderstorm.
There was food: Melting Pot, Vic Sushi, Hard Rock Cafe, Marathon Grill, room service, Reading Terminal Market

There was drinks: Lager, Gin&Tonic, Margarita, Bloody Mary, Mimosa, Pinot Grigio

There was fun: Philadelphia Zoo, ShopsNShopsNShops!, Reading Terminal Market, Hanging out on the 22nd floor of the downtown Marriott, Mid afternoon cocktails, Pistons, chatsNchatsNchatsNchats

Ultimately the goal of the weekend was achieved, enjoying my time with Aunt Suzie and clearing my head of the gunk that's been weighing it down for weeks.

This Gives a Whole New Meaning to CHEAP SHOT!

2007-05-25T12:35:00.000-05:00

Seriously fellas, playing dirty is for pigs. Hinrich, you got school, keep your hands to yourself and go pout in a corner you big baby.

See What I'm Talking About

Plays and Pistons

2007-05-25T09:39:00.001-05:00

Opening night at the Walnut Street Theatre is somewhat epic, at least we make sure it's epic. We get fancy, filled with alcohol and prance around the theatre like we own the place.
The opening for Carousel was no different than the rest minus the fact that most of my friends who are apprentices there were experiencing their final opening night. I on the otherhand was merely enjoying my last night there as a patron. The next opening I will experience as an apprentice.
There was whiskey and wine, beer and bouncing, smiles and frowns and the occassional well played flirtation. The show itself was forgettable, at no fault of the actors. They merely had a shit script to work with. As bad as this sounds, my two favorite scenes involved no dialogue, that gives you an idea of how mind-numbing the script indeed is, damn Rodgers & Hammerstein fluff. The most impressive moment is a mere five minutes into the show when a carousel literally comes down for the ceiling, bravo to the carpenters and scenic designers for that triumph of the evening.
Last night was another opening at the theatre but on a smaller scale. This was the opening for Side by Side by Sondhiem in the Studio 3 theatre space. I really enjoyed the show. It was a show much more than a play, in fact it was four actors and two pianists entertaining the audience with some of Sondhiem's most enjoyable musical pieces. It was kind of like going to a cabaret and even though I'm not familiar with most of his songs it was highly entertaining nonetheless.
The opening party for Studio 3 is always smaller but I have fun at them anyway because some of my closest friends at the theatre work exclusively at that venue.
Because the show was happening at the same time as game two in the Pistons series vs. the Cavs I had Beth texting me the score at the end of each quarter. I kept my phone in my hand on vibrate, it was kind of hilarious actually. And all I have to say about that is....GO PISTONS!
I also apparently met one of the actors the prior night at the Carousel opening and I felt a bit of a jerk when he came up and said "Amanda right" and I looked at him with a blank stare and no response except "Yes, have we met?". That's what happens when you introduce yourself to me later in the evening on an opening, I'll probably not be able to recall you, oops. He was obviously hitting on me and fit the standard age of I'd guess about 40, you know, the age men who hit on me usually are...

Isn't That a Woodland Creature?

2007-05-23T10:04:00.000-05:00

Philadelphia continues to amaze me with the interesting, if not downright strange things I seem to encounter here. Whether it's a woman with bells literally on her toes, a man covered in pennies or a Mummer (because really, what's more bizarre than a grown man in drag running around South Philadelphia?) I'm always finding things that make me smile or repulse, just a little bit.
Last night Philadelphia amazed me again.
While sitting in my small, but comfortable 1 bedroom garden-level apartment with my roommate/best friend I encountered NATURE. Yes, I encountered nature within the confines of my city apartment, bigger nature than I've seen in Michigan too which is what boggles my mind the most.
So I am in my black leather chair sitting directly across from one of the radiators in the room. On said radiator is my red sport swimsuit. It's drying because earlier in the night I swam at the gym, easy enough right? Well, I'm sipping my 40 of Miller High Life (The Champagne of Beers) and chatting with my roommate/best friend when I suddenly think I can see something moving across my swim suit. I look over at my roommate/best friend and say "I know I'm almost done with this 40 so I might just be drunk but is that a GIANT SLUG crawling across my swim suit?!" Roommate/best fried is closer to the radiator and takes a look and screams. Yup, that means it's a slug. Now this is the biggest slug I've ever seen and I've been in my fair share of swamps, bogs, streams and creeks----most if not all had some form of slug roaming around in them but the guys I've seen in the past are no longer than a pinkie finger nail. This slug, who I named Pete, was easily as long as my index finger and what's more, he had the markings of a leopard making it very easy for him to blend in on say, the trunk of a tree.
After taking a few pictures and making roommate/best friend squirm for a bit I decided to put her out of her misery and take Pete outside on a paper towel.
We think he came in through a hole in our screen but we fear that it was just through the random empty spaces between the piping for our radiators and well....whatever is beyond them.
Oh Philadelphia, you are always good for a story or two and Pete damnit, you slug slimed ALL over my suit, you bastard.

For All Your Pistons Needs

2007-05-22T13:28:00.001-05:00

www.need4sheed.com

I love this site. It's where I get most of my wallpapers that I plaster across the desktop of my computer at work as well as my favorite photos and post-game posts.

DEEEEEEEEE-TROIT BASKET-BALLLLLLLL!

Managers and Music

2007-05-22T09:45:00.000-05:00

Today's topic is managers and their musical choices.
So I work at a retail store. We sell very specific products. We are a hot commodity in the city because we fit a niche that no one else does. We have crazy employees because most of us are highly overqualified for our positions but hired for this exact reason---the president of the company only hires people he knows are very awesome at working with people and incredibly smart so he can offer his customers very good service and advice. This is, however, a deadly combination.
Imagine a store full of creative, mildly crazy in the artistic sense, highly under-challenged people. Do you see where I'm going with this? None of us have enough to do and those of us who don't play video games are just generally ready to go stand in a corner and rebound our heads off the wall in an attempt to reach a higher level of consciousness.
Now getting to managers. Well, there is really only one manager that drives me wild and we will call him "wildly overpowering, needs to know all of your work and non-work business, wants everyone to include him in everything even when it doesn't make sense, did I mention overpowering manager." He needs more to do and when he doesn't have things to do he walks back and forth across the store nit-picking at his employees. I understand using down time to tidy up things around the store that otherwise are put on the back burner but his approach is wickedly off base and always comes off as condescending and rude.
The worst situation involves a slow day and his deciding to put his iPod on over the speaker system because no one in the store likes his music. He gets immediately huffy and angry like it's a personal attack, which is never the case when it comes to music but rather a simple difference in opinion. And since overpowering manager likes to be the marter he then proceeds to mope around the store and mumble, yes, mumble. Part of his moping involves no longer annunciates words but rather slurring them together in a low tone like a small child pouting about not getting to have a piece of chocolate cake. Mixing this behavior with a fleet of employees who are overqualified for their positions and wildly bored is a bad mix. Everyone just gets a little snarky and the moping gets worse while the nit picking gets more ridiculous and what started as merely a statement of dislike about music turns into full-on ridicule.
Ah, the joys of working in retail.

This Much I Know

2007-05-21T00:38:00.001-05:00

...Which is enough to know when I need to get out of a situation that is going to end in nothing but my feeling bad about said situation.

Get it?

I do.

Phillies: 8 Brewers: 6

2007-05-15T07:16:00.000-05:00

My Date, Miss Rachel.

So last night I went to my first Phillies Baseball game. It was a magical time of beer, baseball, buddies and future co-workers. You see, it was a company outing for the Walnut Street Theatre but since I have a couple good friends that work there I was invited out as well, despite not being an employee there again until August. It was tons 'o' fun and despite not paying close attention during the first 6 innings, I still managed to watch the part of the game that mattered for it was in the 8th inning that the Phils showed their "I think I can attitude" and pulled back into the game sending 11 fellas up to the plate and racking up 6 runs. Needless to say, the Phils won and sent the Brewers home to their hotel crying.

Well, The Ice Caps Are Going To Melt.

2007-05-13T10:59:00.000-05:00

So says Beth on this fine Sunday morning.
We were going to take a night off but then our drunk friend came along and whined and whined until we finally went with him to the Good Dog. We managed to get a table which is always a tough feat on a Saturday night. Taylor joined the team and our line-up was complete.
There's nothing like sitting in a booth with good friends, laughing like crazy and feeling like you are home. Kids dropped by the table to say hello and introdcutions were made. More faces, more smiles, less scene-dance-crap, more person-to-person chitchat.

The rest of the night was drunken banter at Taylor's amazing apartment on Rittenhouse Square. I dream of having a view of the skyline the way he does but unless I become a famous wrtier or something like that...it's just not going to happen. Beth and I said our farewells around 3:30am and headed to the bus stop, and that my friends, is when the magic happened. A cab pulled up, we said we didn't need a ride, he said he'd give us a free one, he was on his way home. "Well, where do you live?" "I'm going to 48th and Walnut." I look at Beth wondering if this could really be true. Is this guy actually driving to his home, a home that happens to be 2 blocks from our apartment. A few more inquiring questions to make sure we weren't about to be kidnapped and killed and we were on our way home in minutes. It was glorious.
Tonight I am actually taking the night off. I have a quad muscle that desperately needs some water rather than alcohol flowing through it in order to repair it's already torn fibers.

Headaches and Sun

2007-05-12T09:59:00.000-05:00

It is beautiful outside and I am sitting in my darkened garden-level apartment on the internet trying to pretend I don't have a headache from three nights of debauchery. I have a sundress on with a bikini underneath and a good plan to go be in this beautiful day as much as possible but I'm definitely moving slow.

It was a nice night last night. Caught up with Arizona. We did our traditional wings and beer at Moriarty's and then Beth, Rafiq and Taylor joined us for more beer and being "those people" at the bar, it was lovely. Tara stopped by in her fancy dress. She was on her way to chaperone the prom of the high school where she works.
The rest of the night was a blur of Colt 45 (bad idea) and PBR (not as bad of an idea) and sitting at Tara's apartment in a haze unable to really converse because I was so exhaused. At one point Beth had to help me up because my right quad was flaring up pretty badly. I strained it again. I am tired of the injuries. The triathlon is less than 2 months away and it makes me nervous that I've re-injured it 3 times in the last 4 months. I am taking the next 4 days off and hopefully it heals up okay. Speaking of which, I must ice it now.

I seriously have nothing to do and it's only 2:30pm

2007-05-08T13:34:00.000-05:00

1. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
Never. I feel like that gives you a good idea about how things ended.

2. Are you crushing on someone?
Like it's my job.

3. Have you ever liked someone so much that it hurt?
Usually it just hurts my ego.

4. Have you ever made a boyfriend or girlfriend cry?
Yes, and we were in a car and I couldn't get out of it and I wanted to break through the window and run the rest of the way home because I was so confused about what was going on and how I had made him cry in the first place. I promise I'm not a maneater.

5. Are you happier single or in a relationship?
By and large I have been single 98% of my life and therefore I have conquered being good at it. I think I am still learning how to be happy in a relationship because there's nothing that compares to being with someone who loves you and you love them as well.

6. Have you ever told someone you loved them and didn't mean it?
I didn't mean it when I said it the first time but I meant it later.

7. Have you ever had your heart broken?
A bit bruised but not entirely broken.

8. Have you ever broken someone's heart?
Yes, but that's the nature of things I suppose.

9. Talk to any of your exes?
Yes, just one.

10.If you could go back in time and change things, would you?
Never. Live and learn. Hindsight may be 20/20 but it's that way for a reason, it's called learning.

11.Think any of your exes feel the same?
Hard to say, might be the reason we aren't together if they don't...

12. Do you believe that you are a good boyfriend or girlfriend?
I am loyal, honest, and try hard to be, but I don't think I was prepared to take on the position of "girlfriend" for the first 20 years of my life. Now I think I am prepared for when the opportunity arises.

13. Where do u see yourself in 3 years?
Hard to say. I've grown up enough to realize that you have to take life as it comes at you. Right now, I see myself traveling and not settling down yet but last year I would have said "gee I hope I am in a good relationship and finding a place to call home." So as you can see, your guess is as good as mine.

14 .Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?
A second chance to apologize but sometimes things that are given a second chance turn out the same way as the first attempt, so says my experiences, so no I don't think everything deserves a second chance.

15.Do you want to get married?
Indeed I do.

16.Has anyone ever told you they wanted to marry you?
Yes, my gay co-worker said he would if I were a guy. Isn't that just the sweetest.

17.Ever liked someone else's boyfriend or girlfriend?
Who hasn't said to someone "man I totally have a crush on so-and-so" only to have someone say "they have a gf?" I know I have and then I think, shucks and walk away.

19. Have you told anyone you'd marry them?
Not yet.

20. How many times have you really truly been in love?
Once.

You Gonna Play or What?

2007-05-08T10:23:00.000-05:00

Dear Chicago Bulls,
The game you are playing is called basketball. It involves dribbling, shooting, passing and the occassional quality near fight. You have not engaged in any of the above in the past two games. I mean, I know I want the Pistons to win but, C'MON, at least give me something worth watching.
Maybe you should just forfeit and keep your shoes in your lockers.
Lame.
Go Pistons.
Love always,
Amanda Marie
PS. Ben Wallace must be ashamed for ever leaving the Pistons now. Lets Go Chris Webber!

Summer Fun Times

2007-05-02T22:35:00.000-05:00

Some Photos to Catch You Up on Summer Fun 2007

Summer Subway Fun

No Relation

The Delaware River on a solo walk along Penn's Landing

See you in August

The newest addition to the McKenna Clan, Jack William and my pops

Swept like Spring Cleaning

2007-04-30T09:50:00.000-05:00

Pistons sweep the series, awesome. I got to see most of game 3 in the Philadelphia Airport while my delayed flight took its time getting to our gate. During that time I also got to chat for a good long time with my lovely Trish the Delish Dish. I miss her so much. It was nice to compare notes, feelings, and general understanding in regards to trying to make it as a writer and artist in the world of day jobs and dreams. She'll always understand and that's what makes it so great to have her in my life. There's talk of a trip to Philly after she hits her 90 days and gets some vacation time.
Friday afternoon I spent in Kalamazoo. My wonderful little sister Ali B was my chauffuer because I am no longer carried on any sort of car insurance and my parents have been having bad enough luck with cars that they just wouldn't risk my driving anything they owned. Our first stop was the administration building where I caught up with my old co-workers in a sea of hugs and hellos and how are you's mixed in with a few "I know that laugh"'s. Those people were my family when I was at Western and it's always nice to visit family. Following my WMU meeting was an afternoon romp through heaven with my favorite Leah. There's something to be said about the people God puts in the way of your life. We spent three hours catching up, talking about the future, helping hammer out the present and enjoying each others' presence. Soon Kim Gold joined and then we set out to see the Erins at the Copy Cup. Stephanie picked up Ali and I from there and the three of us enjoyed a dinner of Bilbo's Pizza where I purchased a t-shirt for a co-worker back in Philly who grew up in Kzoo and requested one if I ended up going to the beloved pizza place. Stephanie dropped Ali and I off back at the car where Andy met us to "send us off." We had a quick 10 minute catch up session. I would have liked to spend more time with him but he was busy with Moped BBQ things and Ali and I needed to get back home to see the fam. He says he's planning on visiting at the beginning of June. It will be fun to show him around the city and to hang out.
The rest of the weekend is a blur of family and hoping for a few moments of holding my baby nephew Jack. It was great to see everyone. On Saturday I enjoyed the company of almost my entire family. My brother Duane and his wife and 2 kids couldn't make it but we did say hello to them via a web cam which was better than nothing. Kirk visited Saturday night as well. He got a small dose of the craziness that is the McKenna Clan and enjoyed being bad at basketball with my older brothers.
Sunday night came all too quickly. I had to bid farewell to open spaces, open arms and Michigan in the Springtime which is always a shame to leave. Summer is going to be tough here. I hope I make many trips to the shore and out of the city because this body is already thinking that it needs some nature to stay sane.

Game Two

2007-04-24T15:02:00.000-05:00

...Also known as the strikeout on getting someone to put on the Pistons because the Phillies were playing...
I'm almost convinced that I need to buy cable for the next three months just so that I can watch the Pistons whenever I want rather than hoping that a bar will allow me such a pleasure. In return for not being able to change the station for me (8 tvs on 2 cableboxes w/ the home baseball team playing=no soup on trying to convince my friend bartender to change the station) Jeff didn't charge me for the first 2 beers I drank nor the first one of Beth's so I suppose I can handle that. We ended up watching the Phils and then getting to see the highlights on ESPN later on. We were joined by Ambelyn, one of Beth's co-workers and the rest of the evening was dedicated to girl talk, beer and banter with our favorite bartenders at Moriarty's.

But getting to the point here...DEEE-TROIT BASKETBALL! Go pistons, you looked good last night and Sheed's crazy throw at the shot clock buzzer was top quality.

Game One

2007-04-23T10:31:00.000-05:00

So game one goes to Detroit (92-100).
Go Pistons!

This week I am vowing to chill it out a bit because after a 3-day run of going out, taking off Saturday night, and then basically drinking from 11:30am until 1am yesterday. It was all quite fun and enjoyable and totally unexpected. Friday's danceparty with ADEN was top notch as well Sunday's impromptu Beth/MCK danceparty in our livingroom. The Spoon show was fun. The crowd really didn't move much, besides Beth and I, but man did they cheer so loud it was deafening. Good times.
I go home to Bath this weekend to see my fam and on Friday I'm visiting Kalamazoo. It should be a totally lovely weekend. I can't wait.

Wake Up

2007-04-17T09:16:00.000-05:00

This morning I woke up crying.

Just prior to waking I had embarked on a dream that took me through starkley painted rooms of bluish grey with hazy air and uncertain location. It was as if I was in a movie watching myself on a vinyl white screen. In the only two scenes I remember there were four people--two I knew, two I did not.
In scene one I was sitting on the floor, legs extended outward from the hip like a dancer stretching before a show. In the space between my legs two infants were laying on their backs cooing up at me and smiling and laughing. They appeared to be twins. On a nearby couch sat my mother, bright-eyed and smiling.
Then the scene changed and I was suddenly watching another blue-grey room from birde eye view, but this time I wasn't in the picture. Below me were two incubators. I could see the two babies in their respective sleeping places, they were sick and ashen. Suddenly the lights in the room got lower and I could no longer see the children but rather two large bluish-grey sheets billowing over each child. From my viewpoint I could only see the rising and falling of their little chests underneath the sheets. Up down. Up down. Up down. Up down. Up----and then one stopped and only one sheet continued to rise and fall.
There was a flash of light and I was back in my bed, awake and confused. I sat up immediately. My chest was heaving and tears were forging streams down my cheeks.
I was shaken moreso than I have been by a dream in a very long time. I can't get the image of those two little chests moving up and down out of my head. My co-worker Emily says, in her very best psych 101 thought process, that maybe the babies represent my two career paths and the death of one as I decide what is next for me. Will I continue in journalism or try life working in live theatre?
I don't know, I can appreciate her idea because it doesn't sound so scary, but I still can't stop thinking about those babies. Will I have to watch one die in order to put all my love and affection toward another?