Capital Memory

Most days I am not overly cynical, in fact, it could probably be said that I am rather open to the absurd being possible and faith being the driving force behind so many changes.
I had a surprise when someone who I thought I would never see again walked into my life for a moment again. When we parted for the first time I was inclined to offer up my phone number or e-mail address. I'd never had such an enjoyable conversation with a complete stranger, though he didn't seem a stranger by the time he walked off the train. But due to my lack of self-confidence in the ways of being accepted by others I didn't pass to him a scrap of paper with my number scrawled on it. I gave him a handshake a a warm goodbye.
So when I saw him enter the store I assumed it was my cue to not let the opportunity for us to connect to slip away...again...I offered up information for future conversations and interactions. I was so thrown when I saw him walk in (being that he doesn't live in PA nor does he live in the state we were in during our first and only prior meeting) that my hands began to shake. It was a good shake, a reassurance that maybe things really do happen for a reason and that in some cases, we might be so blessed so as to have a second chance. I wanted to tell him that his presence, though slight, made me smile, a lot. Made me remember why strangers can sometimes have a greater impression than a known soul.
Sadly that's where the story ends because there have been no interactions. I can hope that there will be someday but it makes my neurotic side feel inadequate. It makes my rational side feel the sting of proving itself right. It makes the dreamer in me feel waifish, tired, sore from another beating. And it makes all of me remember how easy it is to get wrapped up in something and forget that sometimes the moments that bring the most joy are also quite worthy of inflicting great pain.