Self-Medication is ALWAYS a Good Idea

So I have now been living with a fractured wrist for five days and I still don't have a cast or any PAIN MEDICATION. Now this is partly my fault. You see, I categorically am a badass who has an incredibly high tolerence for pain and so I don't always go to doctors the way a lot of whiney babies do...But in this case it may have been the wrong route to take.
So Wednesday night I did a swan dive off my bike. Now you might be wondering why I did this but then that just means you didn't read my prior post, you know, the one with ILLUSTRATIONS and everything just to make sure you got what happened. So I swan dive, cuss about hurting my bike and then get up, brush off and continue on my way to the bar without any idea that the pain shooting through my right wrist is from a fracture, not just the aftereffects of a tumble that will be healed by the "medicine" I'm about to injest. So I go to the bar and promptly belly up with Beffers, the best friend and order a Miller High Life (aw the champagne of beers) and a shot of whiskey (for the pain of course, and with the newly acquired road rash who was the bartender to disagree?!). I end up having a few more before it's becoming apparent that I need ice and head home.
In the AM the trouble started. There still wasn't swelling or bruising so I thought I was good to go (these 2 things indicate a fracture). As mentioned in Friday's post I had a paramedic (who just happened to stop into the MAC store where I used to work, I say used to because Friday was my last day, boomshakalaka!) look at it. He said it totally was a fracture so I got into my doctor, but not until Friday. So Thursday night I decided it was best if I turned into the usual PBR-swilling gal that I am and enjoy my night while dulling the pain. Thing is, right now I can't even remember what I did on Thursday night so that must mean it was quality...
Friday the xrays were done and it was official, the wrist was fractured...it's called a scaphoid fracture and it is no good because it's the bone below your thumb that connects into the wrist. Anywho, Friday was Texan buddy Arizona Dakota's birthday---don't get confused, yes she's from Texas and yes her first name is Arizona Dakota. As aforementioned, Friday was also my last day at the MAC store so it was time to celebrate, and the lame-o splint I was given to keep my wrist from moving wasn't about to slow me down.
Oh so back to the wrist. Being the xrays were done on a Friday afternoon and everyone in the medical world apparently starts their weekend trips to St. Barth's at 3:00 p.m. that day I wasn't going to be seeing the orthopedic dude till Monday (today) meaning I had to wear said lame-o splint for the weekend.
So Friday I get out of work and head to Chaucer's to meet up with a few of the people from my job who I enjoy hanging out with outside of the workplace. In the hour and 1/2 that I'm there I down 3 pints of stoudt and a shot of Jameson. Happy last day of work to me. At this point the wrist is mighty fine and I'm ready to start working on calligraphy or something.
I bid farewell to my computer nerdy friends and headed to AZ's birthday party at the Jerk Hut. Mind you, most people ate at the Jamaican Jerk Hut but I showed up after the food was consumed so I just jumped into the bin of Corona's and went ahead and drank my dinner. At the hut the rain started to roll in and since we were at tables in the patio we decided to head to favorite dive bar #1, Bob and Barbara's for some City Specials. For you out-of-towners that's a shot of Jim Beam and a can of PBR for $3, yup, heaven. While at BnB's I realized suddenly that not eating dinner really changes things and so I only indulged in 1 special. Needless to say, again, the wrist wasn't bothering me at all!
Saturday night was more of the same involving taking out of towner buddies to Neighborhood Bar and drinking there for approximately 4 hours and then hopping to two other bars.
Did I mention I still don't have a cast? Orthopedic specialist is apparently booked up to the point where he can't take emergencies, like me, today. Did I also mention that I'm flying to Michigan tomorrow and will be there for 2 1/2 weeks before I return to start my job at the Walnut Street Theatre? Yeah, so that's starting to get me wondering what I should do about the cast action...I just might get to spend my Monday in the ER---better get the flask out of the cupboard!<