On Paying Attention

Recently I completed a book that I had once started as part of a class in college. It's called The Wisdom of Insecurity by Alan Watts. At the time I was given the assignment of reading it I found the language burdensom and heavy and the subject matter entirely uninteresting. I was a self-absorbed college freshman who knew everything in life and was completely unsure of why one would want to learn about a life approach that involved letting go of the overwhelming stock we humans put in specific things. In the things we use to build a fortress of security around a life that, I now understand, cannot be held safe, no matter the work we put forth in order to do so.
The book focuses on a few key items that I am working very hard to incorporate into my life approach, namely that life cannot be fully controlled, that faith in God means openess to the possibilities and continual exploration not closed beliefs and cement dogma and finally, that sometimes your brain doesn't know what is best for you and taking cues from your body is key because brain and body are one and you'll only be able to take care of your whole self if you listen to every part of the self.
So this got heavy fast, sorry. All I was really trying to get to is I have the day off today and I'm tired but I feel good and I want to be creating, I feel a yearning inside and for once instead of being overwhelmed by my brain's sense of "needing to do something more important" I'm still sitting in my beautifully sunlit room, in a cotton sundress reading, drinking coffee, listening and creating music, watching movies and writing. My physical being wanted this and I finally listened only to realize that what I was doing was finally listening to ME.

I even finished a song about giving into the physicality. It's the first song I've completed in months:

V 1:
Hey you handsome
Hiding in the night
I wish you'd look my way
I don't bite
The silent poet
With hair in your eyes
Hey pretty baby
Come be my vice

Chorus:
Lift me up
Take my hand
Tonight
Just give me a chance
Primordial dance
Tomorrow I'll be alright

V 2:
Devil in the corner
Hands dirty with dreams
Misfit with the handgun
Kill me with your screams
Hey blue jean deamon
Lets tango tonight
Put your hands on me
I won't fight

Chorus

Bridge:
You've taken me over
Pulled me down
Don't need your number
To keep you around
Just put your hands on me
And don't make a sound

Chorus

V3:
Hey you handsome
Hiding in the night
I wish you'd look at me
I don't bite
Hey pretty baby
Be my man
Tonight
Tonight
Tonight