I'm stuck on a feeling recently. The feeling of being left alone. I'm working it out through song and it's becoming a bit of an obsession. I've written two new songs in the last two weeks and both are centered around leaving someone alone or being left alone.
I've condemned myself to a bubble lately. It's not bad so to speak but on the same token it's working against any effort to abort this sense of loneliness. I find myself in social situations and trying to branch out and to meet new people in an effort to attempt this world known as dating and making new friends. And yet, as soon as I start to do this my feelings of loneliness make me feel ill equipped for the job and I skulk back into my comfort zone and sit with people who are my good friends. Or I simply barricade myself in my room with my guitar.
It's a strange back and forth. It's as though I am fighting with myself all of the time. The issue is, I never win. (ha ha). So where do I go from here? I'm not sure.
Last night was opening night of Les Mis. I tried to talk to some new people. It started to be a lot of work for me as more drinks entered my body and I quickly ran back to my comfort zone, my closest friends. Ah well, what can I do? I guess at this point, just roll with what feels right and let the new faces find me.
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